Happiness is one of those things that is different to everyone. Now all of us may agree that having one’s genitals squeezed in a vice is painful.
However, there would be a few that would actually enjoy this process and claim it to a source of pleasure that they would state, makes them truly happy. Most definitely not my thing. Happiness to many could be the acquisition of a new credit card and a day at the shops. Others may sit drinking copious amounts of alcohol with friends to the point of passing out, to them this is a pleasure which is their source of happiness. To others, it may be sitting cross-legged on the floor for hours on end. How about jumping out of a plane from 14,000 feet with nothing but a pair of shorts, as they fall a friend meets them and hooks up to them, preventing them from falling to their death. If you look for happiness directly, you will never find it.
Happiness is not a thing or even an activity. Happiness cannot be bartered for bought or sold. As you stop yourself from thinking of happiness in the form of activities and things you will be well on the way to being significantly happier in your life. So what is happiness? Happiness is a process of linking external stimulus to an enjoyable internal state. This is the main reason NLP works so efficiently in the area of behavioural change. Behavioural anchoring can create these connections in the brain, making it possible to link any piece of stimulus to any internal state.
The stimulus just has to be present while an individual is experiencing the state and they become entangled. The moment the stimulus is observed the state returns. Having fun with your friends produces the state, if it is in the presence of alcohol then the two become linked. See alcohol feel good. Sitting on the floor cross-legged breathing slowly creates the sense of calm, shutting out the world, feels good then instantly the two are linked. Because this process is constantly happening, the vast majority of the associations are made by accident.
If these accidental associations are taking you in the direction you like then all is great. It is when the connection prevents you from achieving your dreams or goals then it is an issue. Be aware you may have a great goal that can be instantly hijacked by a piece of random stimulus that changes your state. This state change alters you behaviour and actions preventing you from reaching your goal. Reaching your goal is, of course, the ultimate happiness. Let’s look at the types of happiness tomorrow.