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Understanding Happiness – Part 1

In all my years of working with people, I have come to understand that no one walks into my office happy. They often leave totally happy and frequently have no idea as to why they came in the fist place. The main reason for them making the appointment is a chronic lack of happiness. To make a change in this state of affairs, it is first required to understand what happiness is, and equally what is and is not.

Fundamentally, from what I can make of the whole subject, it has to be an ever-changing balance of stimulation but not too much, versus under stimulation. Under-stimulation is boredom, which is an unhappy state. Over stimulation is stress. By the way, everyone has a different threshold for both ends of the spectrum. This threshold will also change with energy, age and circumstance. Are you confused as to where to start on this subject? Can you start to understand why so many are on a constant quest to find this elusive happiness?   If we look at it from a purely NLP perspective, the subject becomes significantly more straight forward. We have to thank Dr Richard Bandler for this.

The first thing to remember is happiness is an emotional state. This state is created internally with a complex releasing of a cocktail of enzymes, hormones and neural peptides being released in the bloodstream. At the moment we get this, I mean really get this idea, your life will change forever. You see happiness occurs only on the inside of you, wholly independent of your external environment. It is because of what you tell yourself about your environment moment to moment that produces your emotional states. This of course is necessary for your physical survival. Your emotions drive your body into action, without them, we would all sit around like lumps unable to feed ourselves, run from danger or even reproduce. So the answer to the subject of happiness is what are you telling yourself, what are the images you produce and observe in the inside of your head and importantly what have you unconsciously associated them to? The starting point is to be observant. Start paying attention to the words used by you internally, recognise the tone of voice, is it pleasant harsh or angry.

Be aware of the types of pictures you create and observe moment to moment, are they of the current successful goal or are they of the pending failure.  What is the overall solution? The starting point is be observant of your moment to moment thoughts. This is the first step and will instantly have a great result on your overall happiness. If you realise that this is not getting the desired result then it is time for some unconscious intervention. Make an appointment to see your NLP Practitioner. Remember the mind works on associations, this means that the external stimulus that you are experiencing is linked to unresourceful internal states. Until you break this link happiness can allude you. This is why there are so many prescription and recreational drugs consumed; it is a means to change the internal states without changing the neurology that drives them. Taking drugs to be happy is a short-term solution to a long-term neurological connection.