By Robb Whitewood
People fall into three main categories; neurotic, normal or no limit. Or as Dr Wayne Dyer puts it; effect, effect at cause and cause. Individuals that operate in the no limit zone live their lives in an adventurous way. They’re always at cause and when something bad happens, they take the necessary steps to resolve it. The neurotic individual blames everybody else for their problems, has no control and constantly complains that bad things always happen to them. If you apply a bell curve to a spectrum of people in a population, the normal people, the people who form the majority, fall into the center of the curve and will be at cause for some things and effect for others. The no limit group is just at cause. Neurotic individuals are controlled by the external world. The people who fit into the normal spectrum are at cause for some things and effect for others and as a consequence, are always trying to control what is on the outside. Remember too that the more control you have, the more you need to control and then more resources are required in order for you to expand what you control. Normal and neurotic people end up in a human sized hamster wheel, constantly running. The more they run, the faster they need to run, which leads to the consumption of more energy in order to maintain control of the wheel. It goes on in a never-ending cycle. We see this frequently in society where we take on a second job to pay for the time-saving devices that we need to save time, so we have to work more to buy more time-saving devices!
“Normal and neurotic people end up in a human sized hamster wheel, constantly running.”
No limit individuals simply go with the flow to achieve their goals. They may even set their goal in in a certain direction because that’s the way the wind is blowing. They tend to set objectives and do whatever it takes to get there. Instead of trying to fight against it, they’ll constantly work with their environment.
The River of Life
One famous tale from eastern philosophy tells of Confucius walking with a number of followers to a river which had a reputation for people committing suicide by jumping into the rapidly moving currents. As they were walking, they saw an elderly man jump into the river. Everybody was upset by what they saw so Confucius instructed the followers to run down and drag the body from the river. However, as they were running, they saw the old man walking back from the river completely unharmed. They said, “Aren’t you lucky to survive?” The old man replied, “No, I have been doing this for years. The river is infinitely more powerful than I will ever be, so when it pushes me down, I take a breath, when it pushes me to the left, I move to the left, when it pushes me to the right I go to the right. When it pushes me close to the shore, I reach up, grab a branch and swing to shore.”
Imagine the river described above as the river of life. How many of us flounder and fight desperately against the river of life? Life is like that, it is powerful. Try and fight against it and it will win. Have you spent lots of time, energy and sweat fighting against life?
The neurotic individual will need an instant emotional response to any given situation. They tend to be reactionary individuals that have no control over their emotional response. It is just there. If someone hits them on the head, they would respond immediately with emotion. The normal group tends to suppress their emotions. They try to keep all of their emotions under control when something happens. The no limit group directs their emotion. This doesn’t mean they lack empathy; they will just act on it. These are the individuals that will set up fundraising initiatives if they see a starving child on TV rather than sit down and feel bad about it.
No limits: “These are the individuals that will set up fundraising initiatives if they see a starving child on TV rather than sit down and feel bad about it.”
I had the fortune of knowing a martial arts teacher who had an interesting view on winning or losing. His perspective was that if he left a fight and his clothes were ruffled in the fight, he had lost. His reasoning was that if his clothes were ruffled, the battle had changed who he was and this was unacceptable. Do you get ruffled or perturbed by day to day events? If you do, you are allowing the situation and people around you to control who you are. How many times have you lost it because a phone rang at the wrong time? How many times have you been affected by the content of a phone call? You are allowing an external thing or event to control your internal state. It could be your wife, your husband or your kids. You could be floating along perfectly well and all of a sudden the wheels fall off because something occurs on the outside. Would you like to be the master or the slave in life? Frequently, we give power away to organizations, banking systems, political systems, medical systems, school systems. All the answers that you will ever need exist in one place right now. Inside YOU! Mental bodybuilding to get to the position of no limit is important because only you are in charge of your happiness. You are in charge of your own clarity. You are in charge of your finances. YOU are responsible for your actions. When you accept this you can clearly see the consequences of each action you take. Then you can decide if those consequences are worth you taking that action or not.
The current economic situation is not great globally. At the time of writing, the markets are not doing well in Europe and America, but in every economy, somebody somewhere makes money! Being adaptable, like a chameleon, to any situation will help. During the great depression, there were a few industries that made an absolute fortune in alcohol, gambling and prostitution. Those businesses instantaneously took people away from the problems they had via an altered state. But why do you have to take something from the outside to change something on the inside to create an altered emotional or psychological state?
We have seen that the neurotic individual blames everyone else for their bad luck. They think that the whole world is crazy except them. The fault is always external. The normal person takes on some responsibility. The no limit person accepts responsibility and has the, “if it’s to be, it is up to me” approach to problems. There is no question of fault, they just look for what they want to achieve and they take action. I can guarantee that you will cover the entire span of all three personalities. There will be subjects that you handle in a neurotic way. There will be others that you handle in a ‘normal’ way and there are subjects that you will be extraordinary at handling- no limit. The problem is that they may not all be operating at the same moment in time. Like a chain, they always break at their weakest link. The area where you have a problem will always be operating at the lowest end of the spectrum.
“What we do well, we have a tendency of liking, what we do not do well we have a tendency of avoiding.”
This does not mean that we have to give you a complete personality transplant, just address the one with the squeaky hinge. A minor change will be the one that makes a significant change to your life. What we do well, we have a tendency of liking, what we do not do well we have a tendency of avoiding. For example, you may be great at having relationships and have wonderful social networks with a full social life, but be really bad at knuckling down and doing work. You may be able to form an amazing relationship, but at some point, you may fall down if you are unable to hold down a job as that is your weak point. This may also have an impact on your relationship. Naturally, in response you may decide to be a nicer person, be more social, or any of the things relating to relationships which you are naturally good at. But obviously this does not address the real issue, your ability to knuckle down and work. An incremental improvement in the weak link will lead to a significant improvement in the overall problem.
It’s a bit like having two holes in a bucket, one at the top of the bucket and one nearer to the bottom of the bucket. If you mend the one at the top and keep trying to fill the bucket up, the water will only ever get as high as the hole at the bottom, so the fact that you fixed the hole at the top will have made no difference whatsoever. Fix the hole at the bottom however and you will see a significant improvement in the amount of water you can put into the bucket.
What you are learning right now may seem pretty straight forward, but when you come to start changing your perceptional ability, these foundations are vital. You will get to a point where you will think this is so obvious! Why did I not do this before? The answer has nothing to do with intelligence or even common sense; it’s simply that you didn’t have the mechanical understanding until now. As they say, practice makes perfect so start to enjoy the benefits of being at cause and the satisfaction of being a no limit kind of person.
Robb teaches the concepts of Neurotic, Normal and No Limit within the NLP Practitioner course offered by Dynamic Mind Works. Sign up from the home page to gain access to 8 NLP videos.