Rules For Life – Part 2

An Idea that I fell in love with many years ago as a student of martial arts was the concept of grace rather than force. It is one of those things that is amazingly simple once you get it, though it might take bit to get there, definitely a hard-easy concept, but well worth the effort in the long run.

In a military sort of way, force could be considered putting the largest number of people and tanks onto the field at the greatest possible expense, in the form of lives and dollars. Grace is a single bullet at the right moment in time to kill the enemy leader. That is the violent description how ever this approach can be used in every aspect of life. It is about looking for and developing the mindset of finding the elegant solution to situations. It is effective and extremely time and resource efficient. It requires the ability to develop empathy, for whatever the task at hand. It is one of the cornerstones of the subject of mastery. To put it another way there is no mastery of any subject without.

This is regardless of the subject, relationships, psychotherapy, business, wealth creation and happiness. One of the most amazing benefits of grace is that the small can overcome the mighty, size, strength, position and power all become irrelevant. This is why I love NLP it is the pinnacle of grace and the most effect way I know of teaching the subject.

Rules for Life – Part 1

The good news is my fishing licence arrived in the mail yesterday, and it is good for the next five years. People often tell me that what I ask of them is too hard. I suppose it is in some ways and others not so. It is all back to the easy-hard concept. To help those of you who are starting from the easy-hard position, how about a couple of ideas. How about a couple of rules to start you off.

The first rule, of course, is there are no rules. That is not going to help much, is it? But it is true, how about we refer to them as suggestions and guidelines. I remember the first lines of the Tao Te Ching. ‘The way that can be spoken is not the true and constant way’. Pretty sure this goes for things that are written as well. Any time you say a thing is one way, there will be a person or situation to prove you wrong. Even the ten commandments are constantly being ignored.

The main reason for this is they are written in an absolute form; nothing is perfect or absolute. Thou shall not kill, doesn’t seem to include chickens, cows or fish. If that is the case, I’m going to hell for sure, not for the fish, but for the chickens.

So how about rather than absolutes we work on a series of concepts. Concepts like having an objective and going with the flow till it is reached. The concept and realisation that you can see nothing in a person that does not exist within you. How about the idea of that which you resist, persists. The use of grace rather than force. Respect for self comes, first from respecting others. These will be the ideas that we will look at over the next couple of days.

Remember to go Fishing

We have been writing about all the things that make life work for the last month. One of the most important things of all is the subject of balance. This may appear to be self-evident, but you would be amazed at just how many people get caught up in the unrelenting focus on a goal that they neglect to realise some fundamental life facts.

Fact one.

Fact one is for many a very disturbing truth about life; it is one that the majority of us do our absolute best to ignore, hide and overall just deny. We are all going to die, yes I said it, die. Life is a game that always has one inevitable and unavoidable outcome. Statistically speaking it is a game that no-one gets out of alive. Now having been hit with this sobering fact, rejoice. When you live in denial and pretend that this is an event that just happens to other people never to you, you will start only to live what I call a shadow life. When you turn your eyes away from reality and inevitability, you do so at the cost of missing all the other things that exist, that you will not embrace or experience.

Remember when you fear a thing or deny a thing, the thing denied will eventually end up controlling you. It will eventually end up stealing resources, in this case, it will take the most precious of all things, life. Remember a second wasted on the fear of death is a second that can never be recovered, it is lost forever. Denial of death lets you pretend that you will live forever, this gives you permission to not do things in the now, as mistakenly you think there is all the time in the world. This of course leads to procrastination.

Fact Two. The brain works on an electrochemical exchange; we are interested at this point in the chemical part. Unlike a computer that is just electro. The computer is powered from and external source that drives the electrical connections and sequences. Turn the power off, and everything just stops immediately. The chemical process within the brain has a build up of neural transmitters that when you have a though it flows from one point to another. When the chemicals are reduced or exhausted the process stops. This is the equivalent of turning off the power on a computer, however, unlike a computer, the screen doesn’t go blank ( in some people it just looks that way ) the brain just diverts around this area, so the efficiency is reduced. Often characterised by forgetfulness, anxiety, lack of imagination and creativity. By doing the polar opposite for even a short period the chemicals can buildup, and that part of the brain can start to function normally again.

Fact three. The subject of balance. This is an amazingly useful and powerful understanding to get your head around. Often when we are going after an objective, we can become so focused on it that we forget to smell the roses. To me, it is important to have multiple goals all running simultaneously in different sections of your life. For each goal, you have to have an opposite balancing goal. Work goals have to have play goals. Relationship goals with others have to have a balance of relationship with self. Career goals will have to have a corresponding charity; work time must have the relevant play time. Personally, I like to go fishing, when I catch the fish, I admire it and then just put it back.

Easy Hard – Hard Easy – Part 3

Easy-Hard or Hard-easy.

I know it sounds like an odd title. It is really about asking yourself which one are you. Easy hard or hard easy. People fall into one or the other.

There is no right or wrong in it. Like all things, there is always a consequence for your choice.

The reasons behind why you chose one over the other often have a lot to do with early childhood. So what is easy-hard, hard-easy? As you think about the people about you, I would like you to notice them closely.

As you have dealings with them, do they instantly go for the easiest, cheapest, quickest or most convenient solution. This is, of course, the easy at first solution that frequently leads to the hard consequence.

As you look about do you find people in your life that make the hard decisions and do the hard yards first? These people save the money and then buy the best that they can afford. They build great foundations and then build upon them.

These, of course, are the hard-easy.

Much of our society is very much into promoting the easy-hard approach. Politicians, banks and companies all prey on the easy-hard personalities. Banks will say here have a credit card you can have it now, but in the small print, you realise the interest rate is 18%.

They are counting on you taking another credit card out to pay the interest on the first card. This, of course, is the hard. Companies produce cheaper and cheaper goods, the easy-hard person buys them and then the moment it is out of warranty it cannot be repaired only replaced.

In this way, your product becomes a perpetual expense. The easy-hard also plays out in relationships, bending the rules, taking the easy way out in the form of lying and miss truths.

Drug and alcohol sales depend on the easy-hard personality; I have pain, or difficulty drugs and alcohol make it go away in the short term only to wake up the next day with a new issue and the issue you avoided yesterday.

I frequently find this easy-hard approach being used in companies in multiple departments. It, of course, it is very short-sighted and costly in the long run. There is currently a slow change in this business arena.

Within the sales departments, people are trained in the basics and then sent out expected to reach targets, having no real foundations they fail and eventually leave. In many companies, 90% of all the sales are produced by as little as 10% of the personnel. What would happen if more resources were spent on bringing the majority of the staff up to speed?

Hard-easy people spend the time practising the basics over and over till it becomes second nature. When it comes time to perform, it is done with ease. It may appear to be slow to start, but in the long run, it always works out easier.

The skills that are acquired in the beginning may never be directly used however the disciplines developed in this stage will be used continually.

Allison has an Honours degree in Science Psychology, and this is a far cry from her career today. I have my original training in martial arts and Chinese medicine this too is far from what I do today, however, I am eternally grateful to the time, pain and sweat of then that now lets me live my life today.

This is because I chose to make hard pleasurable and easy painful. At the age of 16 I spent time, about a week of my life or about 30 hours of training my self in memory techniques, it is a skill that has helped me in every step since.

I believe the investment in my NLP training was essential to my long term happiness. I sold all my possessions and moved to England to  study, hard so I could enjoy this career, easy.

I frequently use this process in weight control, money issues and relationship issues.

Relationships blossom under the hard-easy method.

Telling your partner the truth up front means you take the hit once rather than living a life of fear waiting for them to eventually discover the truth.

You start to be yourself rather than the mask you create. I know in my family I am the odd one out. You may discover this as well. If you are easy-hard in a hard-easy family, you will be the black sheep.

If you are the hard-easy in an easy-hard family, you will also be thought of as the black sheep or at best just crazy. How do you develop the hard-easy, you make a commitment and then just do it. In the rain, in the shine, when it is easy, and especially when it is hard, especially when it is inconvenient, the easy people have all gone home or to the pub.

I have found this bit to be truly amusing, often you don’t have to be great at a thing or even extraordinarily gifted or talented to succeed, all that may be required is hard-easy, by doing so you just simply outlasted the crowd.

I know a man who went into a competition to win a car. All he had to do was suck on a babies dummy that was attached to the bumper of the car.

He had made up his mind that the car was his. He calculated that the majority of the people would last up to 48 hours. His conclusion was the competition would really start at about the hour 49. It ended up going for four days in total. Ohh, he ended up with the car.

Needless to say in his mind he was at day 2, and the competitors were at day 4. This man is not the smartest or the strongest. In this situation he was however hard-easy as a result he drove away in a brand new sports car.

Remembering that it is time, heat and pressure that makes diamonds. Being ordinary is easy, becoming a master takes the path of the hard which of course leads to the easy.

Easy Hard – Hard Easy – Part 2

Let’s continue with the theme of the last couple of days. Easy-Hard is an interesting way to live a life. This is just a short article today though. Something for you to ponder. People that get caught up in an easy way out end up consuming the resources of the citizens about them. It is because when things start to go from the easy to the hard, kind hearted individuals frequently give up the hard earned money or their precious time to help did others out of the hole they created for themselves, by taking the easy way in the first place.

How do we get better at doing the hard things so that life has the potential of becoming easy? My challenge to you, tell the truth to no one else but yourself. Pick a habit that you would like to create. My suggestion is, make it small. This could be as simple as ‘I am going to write in a journal every night all of the good things that have happened to me today’.

This becomes the promise you make to yourself. It could be as simple as getting out of bed in the morning and going for a walk or doing pushups.

Once you make the promise, it is to be kept. If you slip, then you start again, and you keep on starting until it becomes you. You will have done the hard that leads to the easy. Remember the first one is the most challenging. If on the first day you can do two and the next you can do three, with each passing day the extra one become significantly easier to do.

The only thing to remember is it must be done to be true to you. No excuses, no listening to the internal chatter that tries to talk you out of it. Accept that it is hard, uncomfortable, not what you are used to, even inconvenient in the being, it always is. Embrace this and do it anyway. The easy-hard people around you will also do their best to talk you out of it, ignore them. You are becoming truthful to yourself. You are doing something incredibly scary. You are changing.

Easy Hard – Hard Easy – Part 1

In keeping with the easy-hard hard-easy theme, did you realise there are two other stages. Easy-hard is a process, and a stage, as to is hard-easy. What I am saying is there are four levels but only two processes. The last article spoke about the two processes, easy-hard and hard-easy. I hope you are ready for a lot of references to easy and hard as it is all about these two words from here on in. The four stages of development and the formula for understanding, fulfilment and happiness are a natural progression from the knowledge of the way things work.

Easy-Hard leads to Hard-Hard

Hard-Easy leads to Easy-Easy.

By participating in Easy-Hard, it eventually leads to Hard-Hard.

By participating in Hard-Easy, it eventually leads to Easy-Easy.

I’m glad that that section is out of the way. Just one too many Easy-Hards.

If a person decides to live a life of always taking quick fix options it will inevitably lead to greater and greater issues. If we take the example of the sale of drugs to get an income that then leads to prison time. In a recent documentary from the united states it presented the financials of a street dealers. What was discovered was financially they were no better of than an employee of McDonalds. I know someone who had an easy-hard approach to life and then taught it to their child. The result was a life of drugs for the child and the premature death of his friends through overdose and violence.

Everyone surrounding the first person just suffered. It was always interesting to note that the finger of blame for the situation seemed always to be pointed at someone else. The avoiding what you know to be right, always leads to issues. Eating too many sweets and cakes today leads to obesity tomorrow. Spending without consideration today leads to poverty tomorrow. Partying today instead of preparing for the exam has its consequence. Drinking or taking drugs to escape a feeling just means the feeling will be back tomorrow.

In business, this is also very prevalent, by delaying vital decisions the most precious commodity on the planet is lost, time. With the time saved even if you make a mistake you will have the most valuable of resources to fix the situation.

By acting and doing the uncomfortable now, by making the hard decision or even the unpopular decision, in the long run, it works out. Remember the unpopular decision is the decision that everyone knows to be correct but don’t feel like doing.This is often because it is the hard-easy, most people are short sighted. Does this mean that if I always do Hard-Easy it will always work out perfectly, No it definitely does not. What it describes is Easy-Hard will always end in tears. Hard-Easy has the option of ending well. It has the ability to develop the mental and physical strength to have the foundations to build upon.  Does this mean that they live a life constantly looking to the future, No. it is a game of balance, the more we balance, the easier life becomes. Tomorrow lets look at how to improve your Hard-Easy mental muscle.

Looking into the Mirror

Ahh, relationships. Were you wondering when we would get around to the subject of relationships? There might have been a reason for this. People frequently comment on what they believe is an incredible relationship that I have with Allison, my students and clients.

Relationships are without a doubt the most complicated thing a human being does in their entire lives. To understand this imagine you are standing on the back of a galloping horse, in one hand you have a tiny needle and the other a spool of thick cotton that you have to thread. It is, of course, blowing a gale and the track the horse is galloping on is rough and bendy. By the way, we are talking about a relationship just with yourself at the moment. If we add in another person, they are standing on another horse possibly going in a similar direction, and you have to thread their needle with your cotton. So if anyone tells you that they have the whole subject of relationships sorted and there is nothing to it, run away. It could be true that they have the whole thing sorted. It is also possible that they are utterly deluded. It is possible that you could win 20 grand lotteries in a row, it’s possible. It is however highly unlikely, though. It could be that they are just attempting to make you feel inferior. Imagine being a fly on the wall when they are doing their relationship processes with their partner or children; you may see some interesting things closer to reality.

One of my associates had the opportunity of being a support person to some celebrity motivational speakers, to her amazement, one of them was snorting cocaine beside her in the lift moments before going on stage. I have been told of other trainers and speakers doing the same thing and slowly destroying their careers as the ego started to fight with other aspects of their personality. Using the drugs to mask the inner conflicts that raged.  Many of the ideas around making relationships work have foundations in some rules or philosophies. The very nature of life is about dealing with a multitude of variables.

Is it possible to calculate all these variables in real time and come up with an answer that is always correct? I think not. At best a rule or philosophy will point you in a possible direction. Like all actions and decisions we make in life there are costs and benefits. Please understand my earlier life was a progression of relationship disasters. I was just hopeless when it can to the subject. So being me, I began to study and learn from every experience, the result is I have gained an enormous amount of knowledge on the subject and still know little to nothing. Having admitted to knowing little, I will now share with you that which I have come to understand; these understandings from a general concept of how to survive and possibly thrive within a relationship. Respect yourself. You are doing the best you can, and extend this courtesy to others. They are also doing the best they can. Recognise that what a person says and what they do may never really match up in your mind, this is also very true in reverse, respect this. Learn to forgive quickly and also have a long memory.

Anyone can step on your toes, the closer they are to you the more likely this is to happen naturally. Remember nine times out of 10 people are killed by someone they know very well. Why the long memory? People operate on internal patterns and programs, if it has happened once it is highly likely to happen again. Thus the saying a leopard doesn’t change their spots. The exception to this is of course NLP interventions.

The most important thing I have learnt about the subject is to be found in Neuro Relationship Therapies (NRT), all the people you know exists in only one place, your mind, even more precisely your unconscious mind. An argument with another is just you arguing with yourself. The great Japanese teacher   stated ‘you cannot see in another that which does not exist within you’. It is impossible to love or hate a quality in another that does not exist within the self. My version of this is, when you point a single finger of blame, love, anger or happiness at another, you must remember that there is always three fingers pointing back at you. Being kind to another is an act of compassion to yourself.

To me this type of thinking leads to only one conclusion, all relationships are inevitably with ourselves. The greater our compassion with expressed to ourself the happier we will ultimately be. This is not as straightforward as it may appear. Because an identity is made from so many parts internally. It is a great starting place though. Enjoy the journey, be kind to yourself as I know you are absolutely doing your best.

Dragonfly

In keeping with the theme of making life work, here is a concept that has been instrumental in consistently producing happiness. It is also yet another sad statement of how or educational systems has failed to present an idea that would promote mental and physical health to the most vulnerable and impressionable. Many of the personal development Guru’s introduce the idea of you must have goals, dreams and aspirations. This is a superb idea in part. Unfortunately, for the majority of people, this goal or dream produces a reflection in the mind. This reflection shows us all the things we do not have, the failures, past despairs and limitations. As a result individuals produce pain that is greater than our desire for success, as a result we become frozen.

By the way that is most of us. The people that do drive through the fear often break themselves and the people around them in the process. So on the surface, it appears that from a motivational position it is great, the reality is it is entirely unbalanced.

When you speed up or place pressure on an uneven process, cracks will start to appear. In most cases after a couple of attempts, generally in early childhood, people just give up setting goals and having dreams. Is this done on purpose as some grand conspiracy to control the masses, I have no idea, I just know that it works a treat. Let me explain myself in very simple terms. The concept is called create a Flea Circus or otherwise known as how to train your very own flea. Place one or more fleas into a container being sure to seal the top firmly.

This container may be made of any material, though it is thought that glass is the best choice. The reason for glass as being the better option will become evident later. In the beginning, the flea’s will jump to escape the container. As they jump, they hit the lid, and this prevents them from escaping.

Over time they will continue to jump, but the jumping will be diminished in their enthusiasm as this protects them from hitting the lid and the discomfort associated with it. Why is a glass contain the container of choice? This allows you to see when the fleas have stopped hitting the lid without opening the jar. This is just what the majority of people do in life, they go through the motions of having a dream or goal but with little enthusiasm or belief that it can ever come into reality.

So what is a solution to this dilemma, is it be pessimistic? No. It is about a real shift in paradigm. Like all great solutions, there is a gentle simplicity. Start a daily practice of finding and focusing on the everyday magic that is life. Sitting in front of my new fishpond in the garden I suddenly became aware of a couple of brightly coloured dragonfly, one iridescent red and the other blue. You may be asking what the hell does this have to do with business success.

The answer, everything, in business as in life, success and failure are frequently determined by what we fail to observe in the moment.  Things fall apart because of what we do not observe and just as much as that which we pretend to be there, when it is not. By taking the time to rejoice in the moment, observing the beauty of the moment. It is when you have an actual sense of gratitude in the moment, you will stop being the trained flea.

There is some mechanics that go with this, a goal is a fantasy, it lives on the inside of your head. It is also true that memory is also a fantasy as it lives on the inside. To achieve anything in life, that objective has to be brought into the world. As you focus your attention towards the little wonders, you will then see the opportunities and pitfalls that lay before you.

Freedom

Over the last weeks, I have been focusing on making life work. Understanding of the concepts of slavery and freedom are possibly the most important things to get your head around. By doing this, you will be well on your way to personal happiness, business success, health, significant improvements in relationships. I learnt long ago that there was no such thing as a well-adjusted slave. Interesting sentence, but what does it mean. For me to get it, there were a couple of ideas and concepts that I had to get my head round first.

Firstly the idea of freedom is a complete fantasy, it just a fairytale told to children. It does exist, but only within the confines of the mind, however even this has its boundaries and conditions. Being alive means that hunger binds us, gravity and time dictate to us, only in our death are we free of these constraints. Politicians use the word freely as it has become a rallying cry for the masses. We are not to be told what to do; we are free! Clearly, you have never attempted to run a business, build a house, own a car, not vote, choose the rate of interest you are to pay, go to school or not. The number of rules and regulations, laws, taxes is incredible. The vast majority of these laws are enacted not by common law, but admiralty law, another way of describing admiralty law, is to think of it as the law of commerce. Even the simple act of getting a birth certificate creates the legal fiction that is your personal bill of loading. Simply put you are the property of the state. When you register a car, you are handing the control of it to the state. The word registration comes from Regi = King, Regina = Queen. Even when you buy land it is never really yours, What you are buying can be taken away very quickly, true but not often done. Do you own the water on your land, no. Do you own the minerals below your feet, no. It is at this point you might be thinking Robb are you an anarchist? No. This is just the way it is; it has been this way for thousands of years. It may be true that we are more watch and controlled now than ever before. In the last one hundred years, more than 100,000,000 people have been killed or died fighting for a concept that they have no idea what it means. $1,676,000,000,000 (2015) or in words one thousand six hundred and seventy-six trillion dollars was spent buying armaments and on the military to protect the idea of freedom, while people starve.

Fighting for freedom is the one sure way of ensuring slavery. This is achieved by creating a fictitious monster that you must fight against, or it will be the death of you and all that you love. As you fight against this fictitious monster, you hand resources over to the creator of the monster. This process of creating monsters to manipulate other is not just about governments it is just about people, families do it to each other, lovers do it, churches do it, and why, because people are just stupid enough to believe in the illusion of monsters. Guys this is a stupidity test or a stupidity tax which we are all failing or passing depending on your point of view.

Does freedom exist? Yes, it does. Freedom occurs the moment you start seeing the monsters for what they are, illusions. Like fingers of light dancing on a cave wall, your fears are just created within you. I was very fortunate to learn this lesson long ago in martial arts. The fear of getting hit is far more damaging than the hit. The fear of being hit is the very thing that guarantees that you will be hit. Does not having a fear of the illusion mean that you will never be hit, no. Danger, is a real thing and exists in the physical world. Fear is a story or fiction that we tell ourselves.

The real challenge is to recognise the difference between the two. Once you learn this skill it means you will see danger coming from miles away and have the best possible chance of stepping out of its way. My students and clients come to train with me so they can see their personal monsters for what they are, illusions created by others, believed by you to trick you to give up your resources. The most valuable resource of all is your time.

By the way monsters come in all shapes and sizes, money, love, relationships, health, education are just a few. As you deal with a monster you gain your freedom. No sooner have you gained your freedom from a monster and the next monster will appear. Remember we all create monsters or illusions in order to make sense of the world. The process of learning is the ability to remove the monsters or the process of becoming disillusioned (the removal of illusion). Some would say we just replace one illusion with a more inclusive or friendlier one. Have fun making friends with your monsters it is the path to true freedom.

Doctors, Samurai & Peasants

People ask me how come I am so happy all the time. Why things just don’t seem to get to me as it appears to get to others. The truth is things do get to me, but they are just different things to the general population.

Life is good; I love my wife, she is simply the best partner I have ever experienced, I love my work, the ability to help others, the challenges of figuring out how people work.

To know that you have the potential to help others breathe easier because of what you do and get paid for it, what more could you ask for in life?

This life didn’t happen by accident; it was not divine providence, it came from study and understanding. To understand all this; I found it useful and helpful to remember my studies of Japanese history. I have found it entirely relevant to the lives we all live today. I call it being part of society but not in society. The  Tokugawa shogunate operated from 1603 to 1867. A shogun was a military dictator. The emperor was more the figurehead; it was the shoguns who had the real power. Tokugawa Ieyasu first established this shogunate. What makes this significant and important to us today? The system of control he developed is entirely alive and thriving in the world today. Under the Tokugawa system of very strict rules, the country experience one of the longest periods of peace in Japans history, It is known as the 400-year peace.  How was this achieved? By manipulation, cunning and deception of course. Realise that there were two main social groups. Farmers, artisans and peasants making up the main group about 90% of the population.  The second group were the different levels of samurai, the remaining 10% of the population at their peak.

Two sets of laws existed, one very complicated for the samurai, the other very simple. To give an idea of the simple law for the peasants, there were only two punishments for all crimes, death and imprisonment waiting for death.  On the samurai side of things, they could kill anyone that was not a samurai without warrant or cause. Imagine you are a samurai having a bad day, killing a few peasants is such a great way of relieving stress. A lower class found with a sword meant instant death if caught. The lower classes worked as slaves for the ruling class. Remember, Samurai made up less that 10% of the population. Now you might be thinking, cool, I’m up for being a samurai. Not so fast, it was a life of absolute obedience, continuous training, endless rituals, strictly enforced dress codes, honour codes. If you were asked to kill yourself by a superior, there was no way out. You could not, not be a samurai if you were born into the family. Hypnotised from birth into believing that your ultimate goal in life was to die for your lord, who was in theory totally supportive of the spiritual leader, the emperor. If you were a high ranking officer or feudal lord, this meant that your family would always be exchanged with other feudal lords across the country. The exchange program was the ultimate answer to creating peace and control over the military class. No one lord could attack another without endangering his family. This is a high price to pay for the promise of position and privilege. It is this method that meant a handful of people could and did control an entire country. Japanese movies of this period are full of emotional conflict, caught between being a human being and the very strict rules and social expectation. There was, of course, one group or profession that fell outside of these two main categories, doctors. They served samurai and peasant alike. There were given the privilege of carrying a single sword. They were able to step into the society, get the benefits of the society and at the same time not be a part of it; they could effectively step out and live a great life.

What does this all have to do with today? Everything, this system is alive and thriving today. But not just in Japan it is all over the so-called civilised world. Peasants are still peasants, there are the workers and the middle classes, these are the people that do the majority of the work and as such are kept poor and are still totally expendable. They are the wage slaves that work from paycheque to paycheque. The samurais are the corporates and bankers; the sword has of course been replace with the mobile phone and briefcase. The strict dress codes still apply. They are expected to exploit the peasants any chance they can for the benefit of the masters that they serve with absolute obedience. They have a slight taste of power but at an enormous cost. They too live in a state of anxiety always caught between their need for success and money and doing the right thing.

Hypnotised into the world of power and capitalism. As an NLP Master; I have the ability to help remove the pain that is experienced by both groups. The corporates let me serve them, but I am not bound by their rules, rituals and fears. In which category do you find yourself? Which group would you like to be in?

Making Life Work – Part 5

Of the health series of making life work this section is one of the most interesting and challenging. You see without this section none of the others section can or will work. You might be asking, then why didn’t we start with this one? I thought I would start you out nice and comfortably. What is this section? Values and decisions. If we use the analogy of cars, food and exercise are the physical cars. The values and decisions are the drivers. The car will go nowhere without the actions of the driver.

Let’s start with Values. Values are the drivers sense of direction. They tell us where we are to go in life, what is important. How we spend time, money and energy will be totally dependent on our values. Cognitively knowing that exercise and eating healthy food is academic, but entirely insufficient to get us to take any action at all. Think of it this way, you logically understand that it is necessary to drive to the shops, but your top value is the pub. At the point of decision, you will just find yourself at the pub; you may even be wondering how you got there. Because the moment you start thinking about it you will be saying to yourself, ‘But I was going to the shops’. Unconsciously your values will always direct your feet hands and eyes to search for and find what it believes to be most valuable to you.

The next and the only real question to be asked at this point is, ‘how do I change this set of values, so I don’t end up driving to the pub for the rest of my life?” The honest answer is, you don’t! In all my years of training, I have never come across a methodology where an individual can change values by themselves. (Currently I am developing such a system, I will keep you informed) Are you saying values can’t change and that we are doomed to turn up at the pub every time we want to go shopping? No, NLP have some very efficient techniques for the restructuring of personal values that are quick and very effective. The issue here is you have to see a qualified practitioner. If you contact me or look at the AANLP website you can find a list of very capable people to help you with the realignment of your values.

Next, there is the subject of decisions. Sticking with the car analogy, we have our direction, fuel in the tank and ready to go, the decision is the process of turning the key to start the engine and drive off. Decisions are once again an unconscious process. It is part of the process that is called strategies. This process is the switch that tells us when to do, when to start, when to continue and even when to stop. Strategies look like a computer logic diagram, start here, if this is present then do that, if not then do this. Is it possible that your strategies for making life and health work could do with a little fine tuning. I once had a client who had a 23 step decision strategy. Any of the 23 steps had the possibility of stopping the entire process. Needless to say he made very few decisions in his life.

Once again this is an unconscious process and requires a little external hypnotic / NLP assistance to be modified. No amount of conscious willpower, guts or determination will win over the unconscious world of values and decisions. Next time you see a person that is overweight or making unusual health and life decision, have some compassion.

There is an excellent chance that they totally know what the right things to do are. I have met many obese individuals that have spectacular knowledge of what it takes to be a perfect weight and just don’t have the values or decisions to be able to make it happen. These people are not to be pitied; they are to be informed that with a little external assistance life can be very different. By the way, that person could be you.

Making Life Work – Part 4

To days post is going to be very short. The subject is all about exercise. Yes, it is about that sweaty subject. People often associate pain with exercise, the key to successful fitness is to remove these negative associations. It’s hard, it takes so much time, I don’t have the money. I can’t do it, I’m not strong enough. Your true objective is to associate pleasure to the process.

The simple fitness ideas are as follows.

  1. Doing it, is often easier and takes less energy than putting it off.
  2. Less, often is significantly better than more that is never done.

Walking daily is better than a run never taken.

3.   Forget getting to the gym; the floor is excellent it is also a lot    closer.

Pushups, Squats, Lunges, Dips between two chairs are all that you need.

4.   Keep training program simple.

No need for gadgets.

5.   Remember the first pushup of the morning is always the hardest.    Tell yourself you just have to do one, you will do the next one without thinking. In no time at all you will be doing 100.

6.   Start slow and easy, then add as it gets too easy.

I like to just increase the number 10 today 12 the next.

7.   Only train with a smile on your face. The moment you lose the smile stop.

That might mean you only do one exercise and it is over for the day. Remember: You do have to do the first one.

Making Life Work – Part 3

Health contrary to what you may believe at the moment is straight forward.  It entails three elements, what you eat, what you do, and possibly the most important of all is what you think. Let’s start with what you eat.

Once again only three main ideas here. First idea. Food that doesn’t rot isn’t food. I know it may sound gross, but it is true. The intestinal track is full of bacteria. If the bacteria can’t break it down, then it isn’t food. It may surprise you to learn that there are a multitude of different types of bacteria, some you might say are vegetarian while others are carnivores. So if it comes in a box and doesn’t rot, then you are eating cardboard.

There was a rat experiment conducted feeding rats breakfast cereal and the shredded boxes that the cereal came in. The rats eating the boxes over time had significantly fewer tumours than the rats that ate the cereal. Possibly because the boxes were less processed. This, of course, leads us to the second idea. Whole foods are better for you than processed foods.

The main point here is the bacteria has to be able to recognise it as food. The more processing, the less likely this is to occur. An interesting idea here, in the old days, when I was a kid, no comments on this :-). Milk was delivered by the milkman and only sold in milk bars. The reason for this is because it had such a short shelf life, leave it out in the sun, by mid morning it was off.  Then homogenisation was introduced to dramatically increase shelf life.

This process changes the structure of the fats in milk. As a result, the bacteria don’t recognise it and leaves them alone. Milk now days becomes stale before it grows bacteria. Stale is another word for rust. Element three. Eat until you feel a slight swelling or restriction in your throat. This comes directly from Chinese medicine. The eyes and the stomach work together, it is as if they talk with each other regularly. As you see the food, it sends a message to the stomach. A plate of veggies coming down says the eyes and brain; stomachs response is ‘go for it’, throat wide open. Unless there is an overabundance of meat-eating bacteria then the stomach says, ‘No way, feed me meat, I’ve got hungry plants down here.’ The eyes could look at a meal and send the message to the stomach. Steak potatoes, bread and sweetcorn followed by chocolate pudding and a cheese platter and crackers. The stomach response with ‘I just don’t have the energy to digest such a big meal’ and the sensation in the throat will start to increase. It is amazing you can be eating away and the message comes,’ You don’t have enough energy to eat the next mouthful of food or more commonly called ‘Your full’.

The interesting thing is most overweight people have lost this third and most vital process. The stomach is saying ‘no’, but the brain just keeps shovelling it in. Getting individuals to be reconnected with this process is vital for weight control. It is an easy procedure using Hypnosis and NLP. Because of conditioning we can be trained to associate pleasure to anything. An example, feeling happy and eating garbage. So when you eat the garbaged you remember feeling happy, so you keep eating. NLP as great for reseting these conditioned responses in a way that is quick.

Making Life Work – Part 2

Yesterday we presented the idea that there were three main areas of life to get organised. That being your health, relationships and finances. In many coaching programs clients come to the coach and tell the coach what they want. This bit is perfect; the issue is just the matter of a lack of balance.

Let’s start today with the subject of health. I have had clients come to me in the past,  grossly overweigh stating that they will do anything to change their weight issues. After talking to them for a while I generally find that they will do anything as long as it doesn’t involve changing what and when they eat and moving out of their comfy chair.

There is a world of information and misinformation on the topic of health.  Fad diets, the promise of quick results and tricks are all geared to separate the desperate from their money. How about we return to the basics. Food in, activity out, is the beginning. Simply put if you are overweight eat less and do a little more. Then you ask, but ‘what do I eat, It is so complicated everybody tells me something different’. Stop right there. Eating is simple. The rules for food so apparent, everyone knows them but will do everything they can to pretend that the rules don’t apply to them somehow. I like it when the rules only apply on certain days of the week. The rules are the rules, is it ok to break the rules, entirely.

Now realise every time you break a rule there is a consequence. What are the rules? If it is white in colour, then it’s an issue, sugar, wheat, processed salt and milk all fall into this category. If it comes in a box not so good. You may be saying I have seen you eat some of these things, I’d say most definitely, and there is a consequence. More green and less meat, some would say even no meat. Now we could go into all of the arguments for and against all of these things. Let’s not. Let’s instead just look at the levels of health pre-1800. Obesity very rare, heart attack nearly non-existant, rates of cancer less than 1 in 100. Today 68.8% are overweight or obese, 33% of people are dying of cancers and rising.  (Source NHANES, 2009–2010). This is not about telling you what you already know. The real question is why do we know a thing and do the opposite? That is where NLP comes in very useful. Remember NLP is a system of behavioural modelling. The answer is what were people eating and doing in the 1800s that are so radically different to today. I think the easiest way to look at this is people ate no processed foods everything was fresh, no real preservatives and very little processing and chemical additives. Meat consumption was also relatively small compared to today. The levels of stress were also significantly lower. There was a much slower pace of life. Cortisol and adrenaline levels were also lower. This is all very nice but how does that help me today? Realise that you have been slowly hypnotised by a society that’s only motivation is profit. If it can trick your senses and mind into attaching incredible pleasure to poison, it will, and it has. This is not about just one person or a single company it is about a human condition called pleasure and pain. Breaking this situation is a challenge, but it can be done, the key is observation. There has been an explosion of little devices that monitor expenditure of energy and the consumption of food. This is a great start, what is also required is the ability to remove the perceived pleasure from poison.

This challenge is mainly due to the short-term high that is experienced when we eat certain foods. The short term high comes at the long term damage. In the 1800s these foods were rare and hard to obtain, nowadays it is impossible to walk into a shop without being swamped by them. What is the solution? Hypnosis and NLP. Time to change the current neural structure so that foods and activities are long-term damaging are replaced with foods and activities that are long-term beneficial.

Making Life Work – Part 1

Frequently I am asked to comment on how do you make life work, how do you do life, what is the meaning of life. These types of questions are frequently presented by emotionally exhausted individuals.

They have come to realise the system, plan or approach they have been applying is not quite working for them. It has been a question I have struggled with my entire professional life. I don’t think for a second that I have the complete answer. I’m not even sure there is one.

What I have come to understand or possibly more accurately accept is discipline is the key. Oh God, how many of you just took a deep breath in and looked away for a moment. Did I say the “D” word, you know the word that is full of drudgery. That in some circle the ‘D’ word is worse that the “F” word. Relax everyone; It is not about the discipline of doing the right thing all the time in everything you do. It isn’t even the discipline of being told what to do all the time. It is about the taking of personal responsibility in the three major areas of life.

Get these three sectors sorted and I do know for sure the quality of your life will change for the better forever. Don’t think for a second I’m saying it is easy, No it is not, well not in the beginning anyhow. In the long term, it is heaven on earth. What are they, what are these three major areas? Health, Relationships and Wealth. Get a sense of discipline in these three areas of your life sorted and you will never look back.

The vast majority of people have few rituals put in place to maintain these critical sectors of life. At the end of the day, the peak of your happiness will be determined by the one of these three that is the least developed. I like to imagine a bucket with three holes in it. The maximum amount that you can carry in the bucket is not determined by the hole closest to the top edge; it will be dictated by the lowest one. People who specialise in making money at the cost of health loose their wealth fighting to regain their health. The stress of financial issue can be devastating to a relationship. The true irony is people that are all together on the subject of money believe that more money will solve the problems, healthy people will insist that more health will address financial issues. Put simply being wealthy and obese, making more money won’t solve the problem. Health and broke, going for a 10-kilometre run won’t pay the bills. Acquiring daily practices in health, relationships and wealth are important because being healthy improves the quality of your relationships and doing business.

Money presents you with the opportunity to have a relationship without financial pressures. Relationships are essential to good health and wealth. Does it mean that if you get these disciplines in place, you will never have issues again in your life, No? It does mean you will be in the best position to deal with the inevitable twists and turns that life invariably presents. This is what the training in NLP is all about, establishing habits and behaviours at an unconscious level. When we teach life coaching these are the areas we start with. More on Health Wealth and Relationships over the next week.

Understanding Happiness – Part 5

When looking for happiness one of the first things you are going to have to decide is what type are you going to go after. Your asking? You mean there is more than one type of happiness? Yep. Happiness like love and anger comes in some variations. More about love and anger in later articles. The easiest way to categorise them is by time. Short medium and long, each one has its rewards and costs. One could say there is a similarity between the subject of happiness and a healthy diet. There are foods which you like but aren’t that good for you. There are foods that are not that exciting but in the long run are significantly better for you. This doesn’t remove the fact that we are all drug addicts. We are all looking for our daily emotional fix; the question is what is your drug of choice. Just like some people like beer over spirits or wine over a beer, so too is it with happiness. No right or wrong, just choices, benefits and consequences.

Let’s start with short term happiness. These are things activities or things produce an emotional state that can be measured in minutes. You do the activity think the thought eat the food and the sensation lasts for a few minutes. The moment the sensation is over you are out looking for another hit to return you to that happy place. This is the realm of food, e.g., chocolate, video games, or movies, alcohol, sex, drugs, shopping, adrenalin, I think you get the idea. Searching for this type of happiness is a bit of a wild ride; quickly you will start to realise that even in the middle of the pleasure there is a part of you that knows it is only fleeting.

Medium term. These states can be measured in months and years. More thought and effort is required to achieve this type of happiness. This happiness comes in the form of education, career, child rearing. Designing, writing, creating, building. Effort and focus of attention is the thing that are the earmarks of this type of happiness. The rise to this state is slower. However, there is no sudden drop off at the end. It is a steady and continuous movement in a direction. There maybe a sense of tremendous loss when it has come to the end of its time, like children leaving home, the end of a career or graduation. At the end of this the addiction, you will be required to find another.

Long term, I think this is the most attractive of all the forms of happiness. In saying that it is the one form that is the most challenging and in my mind most rewarding. The one word that could describe this type of happiness is legacy. Knowing that you have made a difference in the world. It is about realising your short existence on earth has had a positive effect on the people around you or the world. What is it that you have done with your life that will live beyond your eventual death. This could be as simple as building a better mousetrap, producing an evergreen piece of music, writing a poem or book that will be passed down through time. True it may take significant time and investment of resources. It could also be thrust upon you by chance. Like Neil Armstrong walking on the moon. Bill Gate and Steve Jobs have produced a legacy that has changed the world forever. It could also be as simple as having a child and investing in them so that they may take your learnings into the future. Becoming a master so that your apprentices evolve into the masters that continue the skills through time.

Short term happiness is quick up and faster down, usually lasting only minutes. Medium happiness is slow to rise and slow to fall. Long term is possibly slow to rise however it continues beyond your death.

The reason of this is apparent, there is no profit in long term happiness for a corporation. The moment you have sold a thing you need to sell it again as soon as possible otherwise your out of business. This is why drugs and pornography are such good businesses because you know that your customers will be back the next day.

I’m I saying that short term happiness is bad and that we all have to go after long-term happiness? No, the going after long-term to the exclusion of short and a medium term is just as destructive. It is a bit like budgeting. If you save 100% of what you earn you will starve to death. If you spend 100% of your income there is nothing for the future. The aim of the game is finding a balance. There is nothing wrong with a bit of sugar and fat in your diet; it is only an issue when it is the only thing you eat. At different stages of your life, you will seek more of one than the other. In childhood, it is about short term happiness, as you grow more of your resources will be spent on medium to long term happiness. Take the time to discover your short term medium and long term happiness objectives. By doing this, slowly at first you will spend more time on the medium to long-term activities. By doing this you will experience a more sustainable and stable sense of happiness. Remember to eat the chocolate cake from time to time as well.

Understanding Happiness – Part 4

How about we continue with the subject of happiness? We already know that happiness is a state of mind. This state exists separately to the physical world and ultimately is a choice that you make on a moment to moment basis. If that is the case then what are the choices one could make to produce this state as and ongoing experience.

The first thing to realise is that regardless of how good the state feels it cannot be continuous. Think of emotional states as drugs; this will help make sense of the whole subject. If you take a mood-altering drug for the first time, it will have a profound effect. Keep taking the substance, and the body will produce a natural resistance to it.

The mind and body adjust to the drug as being part of the current environment. In a sense, the drug has become the environment that it is operating within.

The mind and body normalised the experience, and as such you no longer get the rush of sensation, needing more stimulant to reach the previous high. Imagine this being the same concerning the subject of happiness; I call it emotional bracket creep. Like a taxation creep, you get a pay rise only to realise you have moved into a new tax bracket, discovering you are now paying more in tax. Placing you right back where you started, with one main issue, you are now just working harder to be exactly where you were. Chasing happiness is like being on a hamster wheel, the faster you run, the more you end up staying exactly where you are.

Clearly expressed in the story of the phobic man. This man is terrified of footprints and mortified by his shadow. He decides one day to outrun both of them. As he begins to run, he produces more footprints and the shadow is right there with him. He decides to run even faster and then faster again, always producing the same result. He continues till he collapses and dies. If only he had just found a tree to sit under there would be no more footprints, and the shadow would have disappeared.

It is essential that there be ups and downs in life, this is the way we get to appreciate life itself. Tomorrow let’s discuss the types of happiness.

Understanding Happiness – Part 3

Happiness is one of those things that is different to everyone. Now all of us may agree that having one’s genitals squeezed in a vice is painful.

However, there would be a few that would actually enjoy this process and claim it to a source of pleasure that they would state, makes them truly happy. Most definitely not my thing. Happiness to many could be the acquisition of a new credit card and a day at the shops. Others may sit drinking copious amounts of alcohol with friends to the point of passing out, to them this is a pleasure which is their source of happiness. To others, it may be sitting cross-legged on the floor for hours on end. How about jumping out of a plane from 14,000 feet with nothing but a pair of shorts, as they fall a friend meets them and hooks up to them, preventing them from falling to their death. If you look for happiness directly, you will never find it.

Happiness is not a thing or even an activity. Happiness cannot be bartered for bought or sold. As you stop yourself from thinking of happiness in the form of activities and things you will be well on the way to being significantly happier in your life. So what is happiness? Happiness is a process of linking external stimulus to an enjoyable internal state. This is the main reason NLP works so efficiently in the area of behavioural change. Behavioural anchoring can create these connections in the brain, making it possible to link any piece of stimulus to any internal state.

The stimulus just has to be present while an individual is experiencing the state and they become entangled. The moment the stimulus is observed the state returns. Having fun with your friends produces the state, if it is in the presence of alcohol then the two become linked. See alcohol feel good. Sitting on the floor cross-legged breathing slowly creates the sense of calm, shutting out the world, feels good then instantly the two are linked. Because this process is constantly happening, the vast majority of the associations are made by accident.

If these accidental associations are taking you in the direction you like then all is great. It is when the connection prevents you from achieving your dreams or goals then it is an issue. Be aware you may have a great goal that can be instantly hijacked by a piece of random stimulus that changes your state. This state change alters you behaviour and actions preventing you from reaching your goal. Reaching your goal is, of course, the ultimate happiness. Let’s look at the types of happiness tomorrow.

Understanding Happiness – Part 2

True happiness is an amazing thing. Some of you may be asking does it really exist? The simple answer is, Yes.

The more challenging question is how do I obtain the mental state of happiness. Let’s start with the concept of “a Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens. I know this may seem like a strange place to start but bear with me. Ebenezer Scrooge, the main character of the novel, is visited by three ghosts. The ghost of the present, the ghost of the past and the ghost of the future.  Each of these Ghosts presents information that transforms Ebenezer world into one of happiness.

Another way of thinking about the story is the pain and pleasure of the past creates who we are today. The broken dreams, the betrayal, the disappointments, successes, and triumphs and most importantly what he took away from these experiences shaped his current mental state that he enjoyed or in this case did not.  The good news, of course, was his fear of the future, that would be created by his current behaviours, motivated him to change his behaviours in the present. But how do you change the behaviours of the present, if the present behaviour is dictated by the memories and neural connections established in the past? The answer, of course, is you need a time machine.

With this time machine, you would have the ability to change the past or more accurately change your reaction to the past events. By doing this, you are changing the neural connections in your mind that drive your current behaviour. You might be thinking, this all sounds great but time travel hasn’t been developed yet. This is where you are very wrong.

The subject of time travel is alive and well. It has been in existence for thousands of years. This is all possible the moment you realise what time is from a human perspective. Time is nothing but a neurological construct that people use to sort information. It gives us the ability to know the difference between today, yesterday and tomorrow.

The only issue is memories of the past for the majority of individuals is encoded in their minds as an unquestionable fact that is linked to significant amounts of emotion.  It is this emotion that prevents people from change. The process of Time-Based Therapies or Techniques is the most useful way to rearrange our emotional perspective to the past. These practices are easy to apply and extremely effective. The only catch is they need to be done by a well-trained person other than yourself.  By doing this, you can remove the emotional link to the past that dictated your current behaviour, freeing you to discover a new happier future. If you have experienced this phenomenon, please comment. In my experience it is truly amazing.

One of the main keys to happiness is a sense that the future will be better than today. Today well lived leaves behind a trail of happiness. The future is nothing more that a projection of the emotions of the past into the future.

As a result, today live well and happy leaves behind a trail of happiness. This trail is the thing that we create our images of the future from. That is the main reason that as people get older, they frequently become grumpier, these people have left behind a trail of pain, disappointment and despair. How do you live a happy life? Tidy up the past in order to live a better happier now, which guarantees a brighter future.

One of the keys to true happiness is to be found in tidying up your past.

Understanding Happiness – Part 1

In all my years of working with people, I have come to understand that no one walks into my office happy. They often leave totally happy and frequently have no idea as to why they came in the fist place. The main reason for them making the appointment is a chronic lack of happiness. To make a change in this state of affairs, it is first required to understand what happiness is, and equally what is and is not.

Fundamentally, from what I can make of the whole subject, it has to be an ever-changing balance of stimulation but not too much, versus under stimulation. Under-stimulation is boredom, which is an unhappy state. Over stimulation is stress. By the way, everyone has a different threshold for both ends of the spectrum. This threshold will also change with energy, age and circumstance. Are you confused as to where to start on this subject? Can you start to understand why so many are on a constant quest to find this elusive happiness?   If we look at it from a purely NLP perspective, the subject becomes significantly more straight forward. We have to thank Dr Richard Bandler for this.

The first thing to remember is happiness is an emotional state. This state is created internally with a complex releasing of a cocktail of enzymes, hormones and neural peptides being released in the bloodstream. At the moment we get this, I mean really get this idea, your life will change forever. You see happiness occurs only on the inside of you, wholly independent of your external environment. It is because of what you tell yourself about your environment moment to moment that produces your emotional states. This of course is necessary for your physical survival. Your emotions drive your body into action, without them, we would all sit around like lumps unable to feed ourselves, run from danger or even reproduce. So the answer to the subject of happiness is what are you telling yourself, what are the images you produce and observe in the inside of your head and importantly what have you unconsciously associated them to? The starting point is to be observant. Start paying attention to the words used by you internally, recognise the tone of voice, is it pleasant harsh or angry.

Be aware of the types of pictures you create and observe moment to moment, are they of the current successful goal or are they of the pending failure.  What is the overall solution? The starting point is be observant of your moment to moment thoughts. This is the first step and will instantly have a great result on your overall happiness. If you realise that this is not getting the desired result then it is time for some unconscious intervention. Make an appointment to see your NLP Practitioner. Remember the mind works on associations, this means that the external stimulus that you are experiencing is linked to unresourceful internal states. Until you break this link happiness can allude you. This is why there are so many prescription and recreational drugs consumed; it is a means to change the internal states without changing the neurology that drives them. Taking drugs to be happy is a short-term solution to a long-term neurological connection.

Motivation Made Easy

People present themselves into the clinic frequently with what they think is a lack of motivation. You look at these people, and in general, they look fine. You ask them about what they are doing, and that too appears to be fine. They are out there in the world doing things, but to them, it seems that they aren’t doing enough. They report that they are very slow to get moving in the morning, tired all the time and reluctant to do even the simplest of things. They are still operating, but it feels like they are dragging a chain. This group usually lives on a diet of coffee and sugar. Depending on the level that they have reached.The higher the level, the more coffee is required. Some of them will have an interesting relationship with chocolate as well. These are all high energy foods that act as an instant kick to the system. Unfortunately, they also have a rather negative effect on long-term energy production, health and vitality.

There, of course, is another group of individuals that find it hard to even get out of bed. This group aren’t at all functional. The best that they can do is sit around and watch TV and eat cookies ( or an assortment of other high carb and fat foods ). It used to be called chronic fatigue syndrome. This is the point in which the energy production system just collapses. I know this all sounds pretty bleak, but it is what happens. This process has been recorded for thousands of years in Chinese medicine. The only difference is 1,000 years ago this condition was very rare, only to be found in active military personnel or scholars. The general population rarely had an issue. Today, however, the vast majority of the population are placed under immense mental stress that is the foundation of this condition.

If you read or watch information on the subject of motivation to a large extent, it just says get clear on your goal and go for it. It will say things like just keep going. Losers quit early, winners just keep going until they win. Do more, get more organised, get more focused, motivation is about having a goal so large that they compel you to succeed. All of this is very much a masculine way of motivation and to a large extent has its origins in the military. I only have one issue with this. There is a severe lack of ecology in this methodology. In a military scenario after the battle, the soldiers are all broken and totally burnt out, they are disposed of like last night’s leftovers. We as a society have been sold this process from our education systems and corporates for decades. The result of all of this is as a society we will be dying younger of exhaustion based issues. In Japan at this point people, mainly males are working themselves to death in their mid-thirties.

So how to we get motivated without killing ourselves? The answer is so simple and in this society so challenging, because we have all been brainwashed into believing that the sickness is normal. The changing of a person’s core values is the answer. Not just the values themselves but the complex association that go with them. (This is a Master Practitioner of NLP process). The amazing thing is when values are aligned with health in mind, productivity, health, wealth and happiness all dramatically increase. You might like to think of this through the fable of the hare and the tortoise. Life is much more like a marathon. If you attempt to sprint the entire way you will collapse very quickly and never finish the race. The process of running a marathon and life itself can be thought of as similar to having a bucket of sand. The objective is to spoon out the sand as you run along. If you run out of the sand before the end of the race, you have lost. If you finish the race with half a bucket of sand left, then you missed out on doing all sorts of great things. So how do we do motivation from this? Exhaustion is the biggest killer of motivation there is. The second killer of motivation is overwhelm. To be motivated we require a clear goal that is challenging, but not daunting. The ability to be able to break down the task into small bite size bits or manageable tasks that can be achieved daily. A single step in the right direction daily is better that a sprint once a month.

The story of the woodcutters. Two woodcutters enter the forest to cut wood. The first woodcutter rises early and is straight into cutting with gusto. The second woodcutter rises, starts a fire, boils the water for tea and eats a hearty breakfast. Then begins to cut. My mid-morning the first woodcutter’s pile is significantly larger than the second. By lunch, the first woodcutter continues not stopping to eat. The second woodcutter stops puts on the kettle for tea eats his lunch and then returns to the woods. By the end of the day, the two woodcutters return to camp. To the dismay of the first woodcutter the second wood cutters pile of timber is significantly larger. The first woodcutter starts to complain, how is this possible? I started earlier; I didn’t stopped for lunch, I worked harder all day and yet your pile is higher. The second woodcutter looking puzzled says, I really don’t know why that is the case. As I woke, I made the fire and drank my tea and took the time to sharpen my axe. At lunch, as the water was heating I just sat rested and sharpened my axe. At afternoon tea I sat and sharpened my axe. Feeding yourself, and sharpening your axe whatever that happens to be is the answer to motivation. Removing the hare mentality can be achieved quickly through hypnosis and NLP. I would highly recommend it. It creates an entirely different respect for life and a quality of life that is missing in today’s society.

Today is the day

Have you ever said that? Today is the day that things change! Said, with tremendous conviction, driven by a belly full of frustration at things just not working out the way you had dreamed they would.

Do you look at people on TV and go wow their life is so great, and they seem to have it all together, money, fame and power? This is very common, yet highly successful individuals all share a common skill. They dream, that is the easy bit that we can all do. Then they plan, planning is less popular. Then they do or take action. Next, they keep doing; this is even rarer still. Then finally, they will change their behaviour to suit the environment. This is the rarest commodity of all. This pattern is the simple formula for success. Simple yet to many it is an impossibility.

There are many reasons as to why it is such a challenge, but what it really comes back to is the alignment of values with goals. Reducing goals down into bite-size activities is the next step. These minuscule actions then have to be installed into your unconscious mind. The easiest way of doing that is to do the smallest task daily, you could say religiously. Rain hail or storm you do the simple task, over and over again till it is just second nature.

As a result; you become the actions the actions become you. It is a little like learning how to walk. In the beginning, it is challenging, after a bit you can do it. In no time at all, you are walking without even thinking about it. This process works regardless of the type of goal you have set yourself. Again if it is so simple why isn’t everyone doing it? The reason is neural inertia, a person’s history of beliefs and habits can pull you in other directions. That is why it needs to be done daily, every time you do the action it becomes just that little bit stronger. A behaviour done once is like a little twig, easily broken. Thought or action that is repeated a thousand times is unbreakable. It is also unconscious, and this is the beginning of the concept of mastery.

O’Good Greif

O’Good grief was a famous catch phrase of the cartoon character Charlie Brown. It was usually the result of a life situation that just didn’t work out the way it was suppose to. Life is like that. Remembering that things always work out in the end, of course working out may not be exactly what you thought it would be. In fact, things working out could just be your worst nightmare. In the grand scheme of things we are born, we live, and then we die. Just a reminder today’s subject is on grief. If we start with and accept the basics of, being born, live and then die as being the only sure things in life it becomes impossible to become disappointed.

Disappointment occurs at the point in which we have an expectation of a thing happening, and then it doesn’t. Believing in one true love of your life, this would be the expectation. Discovering that you one true love has been sleeping with the entire volleyball team, stealing from your bank account, is gay or just hates your guts. These are just some of the possible behaviours your true love may engage in. It is impossible to know truly what the outcome of any event will be with total certainty. The issue is we have expectations, internal images or ideas as to how things could be, should be, then, of course, must be. When the physical reality doesn’t match the internal images that we have previously created, then we experience this as frustration. Grief, on the other hand, is the point in which we are reaching for a thing that is no longer there. There will be times of the day when things would happen, but who you would do them with has gone.

Grief is the natural process of rebuilding neural connections. Another way of thinking about this is, it is the process of unlearning. NLP is a great tool for dealing with the whole subject because it accelerates learning and in this case, unlearning. Grief can be experienced by anyone at any time. It maybe the unlearning of being a mother after the children have left the nest. Unlearning that you no longer have the title position or power that you once had. In a clinical situation grief can be presented in many forms. Women who have used their sexuality to open doors go through terrible grief at the point in which men no longer turn to look. Often grief is associated with the death of a loved one, though it could be virtually anything. Personally, I grieve every morning at the loss of my lovely warm bed. Grief is normal.

I Love You

Self-delusion is the greatest of all of the delusions. People come to me with significant issues on a daily basis. Many with life-threatening behaviours, which could range from drug and alcohol addiction, food compulsions, medical problems that are a direct result of their behaviours. Be aware these things can all be solved very easily and often very quickly. If it is so easy, whats the issue? The issue is self-delusion. I don’t have a problem with food says the person who is struggling to sit in the clinic chair, morbidly obese, type two diabetic, dangerously high blood pressure. Unable to see their shoes let alone tie the laces. I just like food. Or the best of all ‘I just don’t know why I’m fat I eat all the right things.” I have big bones, and I have a hormonal issue. Everyone in my family is this way. No, let’s us face the facts, too much in, not enough out. Now it is true that there may be other factors involved. However, it is still too much in not enough out.

This conversation could just as easily be had on the subjects of alcohol, drugs, anorexia, depression, anxiety, sexual issues and a whole list of relationship related problems. In a funny sort of way the problem is not the problem, the person’s perceptions are the real issue.

This might sound strange, but when this type of thing walks into the clinic, my primary objective is to discover the secret that they are hiding with the self-destructive behaviour. The very visible condition that they walk in with is never the problem; the condition is the method used to keep the secret. Discover the secret, and you are well on the way to have the presenting problem disappear. What could the secret be? It is amazing the diversity of secrets that people have. What is more unbelievable is how innocent many of these secrets are.

Often the creation of a child’s misunderstanding of the world. Mostly just intense feelings attached to a moment in time, long forgotten consciously. As the secret is revealed, the world changes forever. People can then get on with the business of having fun and living.

Self Delusion

Self-delusion is the greatest of all of the delusions. People come to me with significant issues on a daily basis. Many with life-threatening behaviours, which could range from drug and alcohol addiction, food compulsions, medical problems that are a direct result of their behaviours. Be aware these things can all be solved very easily and often very quickly. If it is so easy, whats the issue? The issue is self-delusion. I don’t have a problem with food says the person who is struggling to sit in the clinic chair, morbidly obese, type two diabetic, dangerously high blood pressure. Unable to see their shoes let alone tie the laces. I just like food. Or the best of all ‘I just don’t know why I’m fat I eat all the right things.” I have big bones, and I have a hormonal issue. Everyone in my family is this way. No, let’s us face the facts, too much in, not enough out. Now it is true that there may be other factors involved. However, it is still too much in not enough out. This conversation could just as easily be had on the subjects of alcohol, drugs, anorexia, depression, anxiety, sexual issues and a whole list of relationship related problems. In a funny sort of way the problem is not the problem, the person’s perceptions are the real issue.

This might sound strange, but when this type of thing walks into the clinic, my primary objective is to discover the secret that they are hiding with the self-destructive behaviour. The very visible condition that they walk in with is never the problem; the condition is the method used to keep the secret. Discover the secret, and you are well on the way to have the presenting problem disappear. What could the secret be? It is amazing the diversity of secrets that people have. What is more unbelievable is how innocent many of these secrets are. Often the creation of a child’s misunderstanding of the world. Mostly just intense feelings attached to a moment in time, long forgotten consciously. As the secret is revealed, the world changes forever. People can then get on with the business of having fun and living.

Thank the people you hate

Today’s message is short and sweet. The title may sound unusual, though it is a useful process to understand and implement. We are who we are because of the people who we love and that love us. Equally, we are who we are because of the people we hate. In fact, I’m starting to think that the ones we hate may have a stronger impact on us than the ones we love. So thank those individuals that have betrayed you, broken your heart, treated you unfairly each of them has given you the opportunity to learn and grow. They taught you many things. The majority of people have issues with their parents. Parents place boundaries in our path so we may push against them, making us stronger in the process. If life is handed to us on a platter, there is no struggle and no learning as a result when the time arises, and we do have an issue we will have no experience and knowledge as to how to handle it. Successful people fall lots; successful people just keep getting up. If you are lucky, the fall doesn’t kill you. If it does, well that is life.

It is that time of year again

Yes, it is January, even more to the point it is the middle of January, the parties are over. It is at this time you are getting back into the swing of things, unfortunately, that is the entire issue, you are getting back into the same old swing. All the new year resolutions are all but forgotten, other than the niggling feelings that nothing has changed. It is going to be the same this year as it was last year.

The reason for this is all about January, it is because in December we generally have time to relax a bit and ponder the year just past. It is also in December we frequently notice that the dreams we had last January were not fulfilled. It is generally the end of December and the beginning of the new year that we start the diet and start to do things differently.

Unfortunately, the middle of January happens, it is time to re-enter the world of work and responsibilities. This is the point in which the unconscious mind kicks into automatic and we start our well trained and embedded behaviours that will lead us to the same place it did last year. This process is very hard maybe even impossible to change without a little help.

Breaking the unconscious momentum is what it is all about. If you are reading this, there is a good chance you know exactly what I am about. In a funny way, this article is not for you but the people in your life that you care about. It might be for your favourite relatives that you are sick of hearing how things never change. It could be for a co-worker that is struggling emotionally. It is a must of course for the person who is now determined to succeed and just hasn’t got the tools to make it happen. I have been receiving requests to run another NLP training program.

For those of you who have attended in the past, you are fully aware that it is significantly more than just a certification. Many have said, life changing. To me, it is all about giving people the tools and opportunity to break their unconscious momentum, so that next December becomes a true celebration.

Can’t Live Withem, Can’t Killem – Part 3

Relationships breakdowns are a very expensive process. Not just in the dividing of assets, emotionally, physically and mentally. Anything you can do to turn disaster into a huge success in this department is significantly cheaper in the long run than starting again with the same issues to be repeated in the next relationship. Remember where ever you go there you are.

Changing the scenery will not change who you are and the patterns and beliefs you carry. As you change on the inside, you will have the ability to get significantly more from the relationships you desire. Section 3. is an interesting topic if you have been following us so far. So what is this section really about? We looked at values and strategies last week. I must admit, I love the subject of behavioural anchoring. It is one of those things that is so simple and yet so powerful but in general it goes completely unnoticed and unused, even though it is the foundation of everything a human does. Within a relationship, it can be the make or break element. You may know it by its formal name of a conditioned behavioural response, you know the famous ring the bell and then feed the dog experiment. This is why I say it is so simple, it takes only a second to install a pattern that can operate for the rest of a person’s life. Equally, it can be used to remove a previously installed conditioned response or anchor in seconds. The rules are simple as well, this, of course, is all part of the practitioner certification in NLP. All that really has to be present is and emotion plus a unique piece of external stimulus. Oops sounding complex there all of a sudden. Imagine you see someone having and intensely happy experience, this is the emotional bit, you go up to them and smile, plus tip your head to the side, this is the unique external stimulus. What happens is the smile plus head tilt becomes linked to the person’s emotional state. Simply put every time you replicate the smile and tilt of your head, the person will remember either consciously or unconsciously the feelings of the intensely happy past experience. The great news is you are then able to turn this feeling on for another person. Now for the not so great news, If you did this by accident that is completed, that would be ok too. It is when you are in the presence of a person in a far less enjoyable state and you apply your unique stimulus, like having your face in theirs. That means every time they see your face, they are consciously or unconsciously reminded of the less than the empowering state. The unique stimulus could just be the sound of your voice. Do you remember the voice of your mother when she was not happy with you, did she have a unique way of calling your name that meant, ‘I’m in trouble now’

You might like to think of this process as a little like a bank account as well. Everything a person does is either making deposits into the account or withdrawals. Which means, today the person is happy and you are in front of them, deposit. Yesterday, they were upset, withdrawal. It is true you can become overdrawn, but it will get to a point where you will be declared bankrupt. The person is looking at the other going, ‘but I was only 5 minutes late, that is no reason to leave the relationship’. It appears that it was a small issue that caused the collapse. It was never one small event, but the series of small events and anchors that produce the inevitable collapse.

I was watching a documentary on a related subject many years ago. Two people hooked up to all sorts of measuring equipment, heart rate, blood pressure, galvanic skin response and the rest. This couple had a history of arguing, definitely on the verge of separation. As they sat in their chairs looking at each other they started to discuss the issues that so annoyed each other. In no time at all, they are yelling at each other and completely out of control. Heart rates racing, blood pressure climbing. Heart rates so high you would think they were in an aerobics class or being chased by a tiger. As I watch closely, it was easy to notice that as one person looked sad, this look alone triggered anger in the other. The anger, on the other hand, seemed to trigger the look of sadness. Unfortunately for these two, it was like an emotional table tennis match of triggers and emotions. A sad facial expression triggers anger emotion in the other. Anger look triggers sadness. Back and forth, never ending, the truly sad thing is they are unaware of the unconscious triggering. They are just like the dog and the bell, they don’t know why they are doing it, it is just happening. This process is making huge withdrawals from the relationship bank account.

Now you could go out and set up a whole series of positive anchors and fire them, or you could do something really radical, be observant. Being observant it is a challenge I know but the most rewarding thing you will ever experience. What does your partner like doing, and do it? This may mean stepping out of your comfort zone a little, but well worth it. Spending time on things that are within your partner’s top values will guarantee happy states to anchor upon.

To the NLP practitioners reading this it would be a great idea to utilise the collapsing anchor process you have learnt, it is a sure and easy way to make a few deposits and prevent a negative cycle from getting out of control.

As strange as this may seem, relationships are never with another person, they are only with you. As you change your attitude and points of focus so to will your quality of relationships change. Being nicer to yourself, being observant to things that really matter to you, it is these things that lead to true relationship happiness. People on the outside of you are there for only one reason, that is to be a mirror to look into. The nicer, more respectful you are to them it requires that you be more respect full to yourself. As you pay attention to another’s values you will discover yours. As you become aware of another unique way of doing things ( Strategies ) you will appreciate your own. As you become aware of the anchors you set for others, in turn, you will be aware of your own and be able to stop the instantaneous emotional reaction if you choose to. The simple message is love and respect one another, by doing so we come to love and accept ourselves.

Can’t Live Withem, Can’t Killem – Part 2

Relationships are amazing. For a transformational shift in the quality of your relationships how about you think of people in terms of, not so much what they are doing to you, but what are you doing to them.

Years ago I studied in a Shinto shrine in Tokyo. It was an amazing experience that presented me with many, what I thought at the time was revolutionary concepts on the subject of relationships. I have since realised how mainstream the concepts are, it was just me that had never been exposed to them before.

Combining this philosophy of how to live a life that is surrounded by so many people in such close proximity without going crazy, with my studies in NLP this was the birth of NRT or neuro relationship therapy. NRT is a look into the neurology of how people handle relationships at a systems level. The outcome of this uncovered many solutions to things like depression, overwhelm, drug related issues, anger and anxiety. These negative emotions and behaviours are the building blocks of how to create a horrible and disastrous series of relationships.

Yesterday, we looked at the primary reason for relationship breakdown, that being values misalignment. Today we are all about the subject of strategies. No, we are not going to war with our partners. Strategies refer to a specific sequence of events and internal and external checks that give a person the signal and emotion to say yes or no to a given situation. My god that sounds complicated. How about we start again. Strategies are a series of steps that you go through to be able to say yes or get a great feeling. If you understand the strategies of another instead of guessing and hoping you get a thing right you just do the strategy. The result is you have a happy person in front of you. This has tremendous business applications for getting sales and agreement but the greatest area of all is within a loving relationship.

You could think of this process do A, then B, then C if all these things are present then D is the mental and emotional signal in your body that says yes. If on the other hand, you get A but no B you don’t get to C which means there is definitely no D. Strategies play a huge part in our lives. virtually every behaviour is a strategy. Walking, talking, eating, these are all basic strategies. Friendship, love and sex are others, the principles of how they work are the same. Now this is where it gets interesting. People generally and foolishly expect that their strategy for a thing will be exactly the same as everyone else. Years ago I was presented with 2 absolutely lovely people, madly in love with each other, in their thirties. But they were having issues in the bedroom. You might be thinking, I thought you said they were madly in love, isn’t sex just a natural aspect of being in love? Yes is the answer, but not if you have different strategies. As I tell you the presenting issues you will laugh and understand. The guy was a gentle and respectful soul who wanted nothing but happiness for his partner. He would come up to his lovely and I must add very sexy wife and start hugging and kissing her. So far the strategy is working well, step A is all good, now to step B, he noticed that there was little to no perceivable reaction to his advances. Being a sensitive individual he took this as she was not that interested and would instantly back down and walk away or roll over. Meaning in his mind no Step B being reached this meant no C and definitely no D. Now when I talked to his lovely partner to discover the strategy that she was using I discovered some interesting things and an explanation for both of them. She explained that he would make and advance towards her, she would love it. He would hold her she would love it, kissing her passionately, oh god she was in heaven, But being a good catholic girl she would just stand or lie there. This, of course, failed to fulfil his second step, he would, of course, stop. She, on the other hand, was going slowly demented with sexual frustration. The solution of course was dramatically simple. First the removal of some negative behavioural anchoring by a Nun. ( negative anchoring will be covered on Monday ) The second step was at the point in which she was in the mood and heading for step B, I installed the ability for her to take hold of a certain part of his anatomy. This, of course, fulfilled his step B, which of course led to step C followed by a lot of step D.

Strategies are everywhere and in everything we do. If you take the time to discover a few of your partner’s strategy and implement them I promise a dramatic change in the quality of the relationship. Often we could call the subject of strategies just paying very close attention. How do they drink their tea, with or without sugar? What gesture or facial expression means it definitely coffee time.

Possibly one of the simple yet vitally important strategies which can easily be overlooked is the love strategy. How do you know that you are loved? What has to happen, most people will instantly answer with, You just know don’t you? Yes, you do just know after you have gone through Step A,B,C to get to the final D which we call the feeling of being loved. If the first steps are unfulfilled the feeling is not reached. The sadness for many is one partner may be trying their heart out to be a loving partner but just missing an element and all of their effort is for nothing. Even worse, their partners will begin to resent them for not receiving the sensation of love that we all crave and deserve. Be aware that there is potential wackiness that turns up all the time in this area as well. In the of a young man that I knew in my youth. His parents fought continuously, The father was continually getting caught sleeping with other women. However, with all of the fighting, this couple stayed together until the wife’s death from cancer in her late 40s. The young man in question was very good looking and had a continuous parade of young beautiful women attached to him. Until one day he found himself going out with a very plain looking partner. It was no time at all before they were engaged and married. One week after the marriage it started, they were in an elevator, she said something like, if you don’t do it I leave and take half of your apartment with me. It was at this point that he turned grabbed her by the throat lifting her feet off the ground and began to strangle her. The elevator doors opened, he dropped her immediately, people entered, travelled to the next floor, the people left, and as the elevator doors close he proceeded to strangle her again. That was nearly 40 years ago. From what I have heard they are still together arguing and fighting. She has developed debilitating arthritis. Arthritis to me is the physical presentation of long-term unresolved anger. You may be asking why are they together? The answer is because the fighting and anger is a crucial part of each of their love strategies. It may kill them both, but it does fulfil the process that they require to be able to experience their perception of love. Why didn’t he marry one of the other lovely girls? Simple, these girls may have pressed button 1 and may be button 2, however, because they never accomplish number 3 the message that this person loves me was never achieved. Clearly, the wife in this situation has a similar strategy which makes them a perfect match, even though they live in a constant pattern of betrayal and hatred.

For you NLP practitioners reading this. How about you discover a couple of you partner’s strategies. How about their love strategy, even their deep love strategy, You could be naughty and elicit their arousal strategy. One strategy that will definitely reduce the arguments in a household is the decision strategy. Getting the feeling of being heard is also invaluable.

Can’t Live Withem, Can’t Killem – Part 1

Can’t live withem, can’t killem. There many variations of this that walk into an office every week. One of Allison’s favourites is, the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, preferably with a 12-inch kitchen knife!

Relationships are without a doubt the number one thing I get to work within a clinical environment. Simply, because everything is a relationship. People are relationships, relationships with others, relationships with food, Relationships with drugs, relationships with objects, relationships with careers, relationships with money, relationships with family. There, of course, is one relationship, that is the foundation of all these different relationships, that is the relationship an individual has with themselves.

Relationships have the ability to produce the ultimate joy, because of this potential, the loss of this joy or even just the fear of it can be equally devastating. You might be asking who am I to talk about relationships? A very good question and one that needs to be asked before you take any advice from a person on this the most important subject of all. Simply, I am the guy who has fucked up more relationships than Flash Gordon, the Terminator and the Alien combined. This might not sound like a good starting point, but I beg to differ. Each mistake, each disaster, each euphoria, each heart crushing moment was a lesson. The vast majority of people believe that successful people have always been successful. This is a myth. Successful people are just people that focused on the objective and completely accepted their failures as potholes on the road to success. You either drive through them, go around them. Take the hit, learn from it and move on as quickly as possible. It has been with this attitude that much of the work around relationships has occurred. I am happy to announce the last 12 years of my life have been exceptional as far as relationships are concerned. Not perfect because relationships never are. Never the less it is truly wonderful to have learnt enough to find myself in the best partnership of my life.

Relationships appear to be very complex when you first start out. Like most things in life, complexity will have an underlying simplicity. The trick is spending the time with a curious mind watching the complex patterns tell their simple story.

When people come to see me about the breakdown of their partnership, I am quick to point out that there are only 3 reasons people have issues with another. This article will briefly look at these 3 issues.

Misalignment of Values:

Values rarely spoken about are the cornerstone of any great, loving and productive relationship, when they are aligned. When values are not aligned, that in another story.

So what are values? Values are what we deem to be highly important. This is what we have learnt to focus our attention on. Values are generally programmed into us from the earliest of age. Values are established as we watch out parents go about their daily activities. Watching them we see what they do and what is important to them. To me values are a person’s internal compass, it tells us where we are going to spend our time, energy and resources. Values are our internal compass that tells us where our own very personal true north is. By the way, it is not necessary for two people to have the same values, they however, do need to be aligned with each other. How a person spends their time needs to be of assistance to the other and back the other way. Values can easily be observed simply by asking people how they spend their time and money.

Once I have a couple come in for some help with their relationship. After listening to them speak about the issues they were having and how upsetting it all was. It was clear that she absolutely loved the guy. I gently asked her, what are the most important things in life? She answered, Relationship, love, you know being loved and in love. Family, fun and feeling safe and secure. As I looked over at the guy he seemed to be looking into space not really paying that much attention. I stupidly asked him the same question. Just as stupidly he answered. My horse, I love my horse, he is my best friend. My desert racer, state qualifiers start next month. My attempts to interrupt him was not working, as he seemed to be totally engrossed in telling me these things and why not, they were his values, things that had total meaning to him. By the time he was describing the goose neck trailer that transported both the horse and the desert racer my attempts to distract him yet again had failed. I’m sure the look of panic in my eyes did nothing to help the situation. This guy was so happy describing the details of the horse, the race car and the trailer. It was at this point I noticed the expression on the girl’s face. Thinking to myself, oh no, she has just figured it out. We ended the session it was lovely to see that both parties left feeling calmer and happier. Unfortunately, I realise then and there that they were calm for completely different reasons. About 3 weeks later I received a call from the guy, he seemed so surprised, she’s gone, just up and left, I just don’t understand why, everything seemed to be getting better, we haven’t argued since we saw you weeks ago.

What I had seen in the session the weeks before was the girl’s realisation that she didn’t even exist on his list of values. Maybe she did, but that was after the horse, the car and the trailer, then there might have been some time for her and that loving relationship to occur. In the way her compass was set she had placed him first. On his list, if he had to choose time with her or the horse, the horse was going to win.

What I want you to get is neither of the value sets is correct, they are just directions. The event that on the surface looks painful and a disaster is really a success story. You see the girl was now free to find a partner that would have relationships or something supportive of that on the top of his list of values. For the guy, it is also a great win, he got to spend more time with his horse.

The Fun of Killing Tigers to extinction

The Fun of Killing Tigers to extinction

It may surprise you but I’m really into killing things. More importantly, as I am killing these things it is imperative that I have lots and lots of fun doing it. There must be laughter, jokes and physical torture for the thing I am killing, even dismemberment. I totally am into promoting this idea to my many clients. It has been a huge success, generally my clients walk out of the clinic with a totally different outlook on life.

Have you guessed it yet? I’m talking about anxiety. There are many ways to deal with anxiety most of them just don’t really work. Of course taking lots of drugs does work really very very well. That is if you can deal with the side effects of walking around looking like a zombie and being someone else’s cause for anxiety. You, of course, could use a system of desensitisation. This is where you slowly expose yourself to the tiger in the room, you know the tiger that will rip you to shreds. There is, of course, the denial method. This is where you just repeat to yourself over and over again that there is no tiger in the room even though you can see it, smell it, hear it, no, there is no tiger in the room. How do we know that there is no tiger in the room? Because a guy sitting in front of you is telling you he can’t see it, so it mustn’t exist. He is describing how it is just illogical to feel this way. The tiger is about to rip you apart and he is saying, relax it’s not real.

What the vast majority of professionals in the field of study speak of with great clarity and then just fail to appreciate, is the moment adrenaline is released into the system logic goes out the window. Only that which is an unconscious reaction to the stimulus will occur.

What does it feel like, how do you know that you are having an anxious moment?

Physically: overwhelming sense of panic, hot and cold flushes, racing heart, tightening of the chest, quick breathing, restlessness, or feeling tense and edgy.

Anxiety can occur to anyone, at any moment in time. You would be amazed how many times a day the vast majority of people have these experiences.

So what is anxiety? It is your mind doing its job. It is an external piece of stimulus that is linked to an unconscious perception of imminent danger. In simple terms, tigers eat people, this is really bad. Run away now, no thinking required, run fast now. The only real issue is if we are in a situation where we can’t run. Made even worse by the people about us all looking at the tiger that we know will absolutely kill us saying ‘what tiger, there is no tiger, this in not a tiger.

Truly killing the tiger is the only real solution. The tiger of anxiety is often a physical sensation that is accompanied by an internal future image. From an NLP perspective hypnotically changing the structure of the feelings and sensations is imperative. This is done by changing the submodalities or the building blocks of ones reality. As a result, the link between the external stimulus and the internal association is permanently broken. It is actually quite magical to see. It is even better to be on the other side of the anxiety for the client. Often the client will even deny that they were ever anxious about tigers and totally believe it.

So if you have tigers in you life, come and let me kill them, it is so much fun.

You don’t deal with Depression, you get rid of it

Firstly you don’t deal with depression, you get rid of it. I was impressed with the reaction to my last article on depression. It appears to have struck a cord with a number of people. I am going to apologise right up front. This may sound incredibly arrogant, it is meant with a background of experience and knowing. Getting rid of depression is no big deal. In fact, it is really very straight forward. I know there is a multimillion dollar industry out there supplying drugs to fix this issue. Unfortunately, it doesn’t fix it, it only makes it worse when you place chewing gum on the warning light of the condition. I was thinking about how do I write this article today and I was stumped for hours. In the end, I thought to hell with it just tell the truth, always best in the long run.

So how do you deal with it, sorry get rid of it? First, recognise you can’t do it by yourself. This is, without a doubt the biggest hurdle. You have to go to a person that deals with the unconscious mind. Not an individual that talks to you about the unconscious mind and how great it is. You require someone who actually works at being able to change elements within the unconscious mind. These people are about. If you are in NSW drop me a line and I can supply you with a list of people that are highly trained in making this happen.

What do they do? They do a profile of your personality. This generally takes minutes along with how you demonstrate your depression. It is at this point, they will generally ask you as series of strange questions, that you happily answer. Remember the issue lives at an unconscious level so the solution is to be found there as well. You will be asked to remember past events and the emotions that were present. This, of course, becomes the testing criteria, like a baseline that future emotions and reactions are measured. Personally, you might feel a little uncomfortable at this point as old memories may begin to surface. Relax, as you progress through the process you come to realise that you have discovered an amazing ability to no longer have these old feelings. You will have discovered that the old memories that so frequently popped into your head are gone, to such an extent that you may even struggle to remember what they ever were.

With the loss of these feelings and memories, the war that existed between the desires and fears that created you depression have also disappeared. Many people have described it as magic, I must admit after all these years of practice it is still magic to me. I never get tired of asking the question,’Can you do that old problem now?’ Only to see the slightly confused and amazed expression when they have to admit that it is truly gone and gone for good. Thank you for reading, Robb

Living a Stressless Life

Over the last 30 years, I would have to say the condition that sits in my clinic chair more than any other is without doubt depression. Often individuals walk in knowing that they are depressed as they have been told by a professional. Sadly, many individuals are simply unaware of the fact that they are seriously depressed.

So what is depression?

To me, it is a set of mental and physical situations that we all have from time to time as a natural part of being alive. The real issue is when it becomes our daily method of operation.

Symptoms may include things like no interest in doing things.

Constant feelings of being down, depressed or hopelessness.

Sleep issues, too much, too little, difficulty falling asleep, difficulty rising.

A constant feeling of being rundown, having little to no energy.

No appetite or overeating.

Constant rumination of ‘I am a failure’, ‘not good enough’, ‘I am letting my family or team down’

Issues with concentration.

Moving slowly, speaking slowly, everything is accompanied with a deep sigh.

The opposite can also be symptoms rapid movement and agitation.

Suicidal thoughts on an ongoing basis.

Now as I said we all have these symptoms from time to time that is not the issue. The issue is when it is a disproportionate amount of time, what is that disproportionate amount of time, this will vary from person to person, situation to situation. The really sad part is depression can be easily solved if you come at it from the right direction. There is a stupid joke about a man standing by the side of his car with the bonnet, up and smoke and steam coming from the engine. The mechanic standing beside him states that the engine has blown up because there was no oil in the engine, didn’t you see the red light on the dashboard? Man’s response was, Yeh, I saw the light, so I used my chewing gum to cover it up.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of people use this approach to the whole subject of depression. Using drugs, and other distraction so that they don’t have to look at the red light on the dashboard that is depression. The consequences of are the distractions generally become greater and greater till something breaks, one’s health, wealth or happiness.

The symptoms of depression are just the red light on the dashboard. To solve them is easy enough. It is called dealing with your stuff. The stress and strain of life are just about, internal conflicts. These conflicts come in the form of having an image or concept on the inside of your head that is different from the stuff that is going on, on the outside. To use a mechanical term, you are attempting to drive around with your foot on the brake and the accelerator at the same time. Then we wonder why the car blows up. There is nothing wrong with the car, this is purely operator error. Constantly going and getting it fixed is not the solution. The issue, of course, is you are very unlikely to recognise you are doing this.

This is why NLP is so important in you daily life it allows you to deal with your stuff in a productive, fast and efficient way, so you can get on and do the really important and fun stuff that makes a life worth living.

Selling to the Unconscious Mind

Selling to the unconscious mind of a client is the most profitable way to guarantee sales success. When a person says ‘YES’ to any deal it is because of only one thing and one thing only their unconscious mind has said, ‘YES’.

The really odd thing about all of this is the individual may have no idea consciously as to why they are saying ‘YES” to you and your proposal. Please be aware that we are all salespeople. This may sound offensive to some people but it is true none the less. The moment we live in a society we become salespeople. Think of it asking for a sale is obviously a selling situation, how about getting you children to eat their vegetables, asking a person out on a date, asking for a raise, how about presenting a paper to the boss or a teacher.

Even to put it not so delicately getting laid is a sales job. You see anytime a person is required to influence the mind of another it is a sales process that is implemented. How successful you are in society is a directly related to this skill.

As a psychotherapist and trainer I have to be the ultimate sales person, people come to me with all sorts of behavioural issues many of them very severe. It is my job to sell them a new reality. I started in the corporate environment because of a clinical session with a CEO that had an embarrassing little issue that was fixed in minutes, as a result he asked me to teach his people similar techniques to improve their selling skills.

How a person makes a decision is totally unconscious by profiling them you know exactly what to say in order to get a ‘YES’ every time. By the way, this profiling process can be achieved very simply, as little as getting the answers to 4 simple and very innocent questions. By the time they are answered there is a good chance you will know more about the person’s decision-making process than they do.

Phobia

This was a response I wrote for a facebook friend. I thought I would share it with you.

Wow, you have had an interesting journey. I’m glad I didn’t send you a photo of one of my spider phobic clients. About 4 months after I spoke to him a rather large huntsman decided to climb up him. He is quite bald and the photo is of this insect sitting on his head. I could not have paid anyone to have supplied me with a better photo of a recovered phobic. As you quite rightly put it the spider is in control, not you.

Phobias regardless of the origin whether reasonable in your case or not are debilitating. In a strange way, phobias of any description place a number of often hidden limitations on us. Something like a spider phobia or any phobia for that matter isn’t just about the spider, the hight, the clown, the bird, it then becomes the ability to go outside, the ability to be alone in the house. It is about walking along a path into a house of a night time. It is what happens when you just see a spider web. It then becomes all of the compromises that you have to make. Events with family and friends that cannot be attended. Places that you dare not go just because you might come face to face with your phobia. It is the special travel arrangements that have to be made. The list of hidden things that go with it is truly quite amazing. Please understand everyone has phobias of some description I personally dislike sitting with my back to a crowd.

The question is can it be fixed the answer is, totally!

Most therapies are not that successful simply because they work on information and desensitisation. The one thing you are unable to do at the point of exposure to you phobia is to think rationally. The moment adrenaline hits the system forget thinking rationally. It is a bit like stopping the light from coming out of the bulb after you have flick the light switch. Not going to happen.

By using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) it is possible to totally rewire the mind so that the switch can be flicked and the electricity will just be going to a completely different part of the brain. The treatment is so complete that many of my clients actually have a type of amnesia to the original phobia. Meaning that they may not even remember having an issues at all.

Just as a side note people who fully developed phobias generally do a great job of passing them onto their children. I would have to say 6 out of every seven phobia clients actually inherited their phobia. Thanks, Mom.

Letting issues out of the closet

2016 is over and like every year there are the not so good things that happen and then there are the amazing things that happen.

What I find most fascinating is you rarely hear about the challenges in a successful life, generally it is just the highlights and victories that are trumpeted from the rooftops.

The issues are frequently kept lock away in the closet. Many of you would be aware that 2016 saw me honored with the ranking of Number 5 in the world for NLP. Little less know is the family dilemmas and turmoils. To me, it is how you deal with the turmoil that develops the knowledge and strength to have the opportunity to succeed. So instead of locking the issues in the closet let them out. This process does a number of very positive things.

Firstly it teaches the children and student about you about the true nature of success and what it take to achieve it. A very important element to letting the issues out of the closet is it significantly more energy efficient, attempting to keep things hidden or quiet is exhausting in the long term.

The more you keep locked away over time the closet gets very full. It is not that you have to herald your issues to everyone, rather just accept that is the process of life if someone has an issue with your issues, make sure you stay well away from their closet if you touch it it is likely to explode.

Robb Whitewood Ranked #5 in the World NLP

Robb Whitewood has been ranked #5 in the World as NLP Global Gurus for 2016.  He is ranked #1 in Australia.  This independent classification can be found here: www.globalgurus.org

Robb extends his gratitude to all his clients, students and associates for this privileged position.

The top 5 in the list for 2016 include:

Richard Bandler (co-creator of NLP), John Grinder (co-creator of NLP), Derren Brown (NLP / Hypnosis TV Celebrity), John La Valle    (NLP Trainer and Colleague and Promoter of Richard Bandler) & Robb Whitewood  (NLP Master Trainer and Master Hypnotist).

 

How are these rankings performed?   The selected Gurus are: trainers, speakers or thought leaders and selected based on  the following criteria:

  • Their ideas unique and viable.
  • Global Gurus are thought leaders, they create new concepts and ideas that promote the development in the areas of their expertise.
  • They affect others through their books, training, speaking and articles.
  • These should be people  influence the professional world.

New Year Resolution Blues

How do you make this year the beginning of the best year of your life? 

(Also known as “How do I avoid the New Years Eve blues”)

We have all done it, you know, made the new years eve resolution promise to ourselves, this year is going to be different. More exercise, better food, more fun, less work, more money, less bills. This year I’m going to spend more time with the kids/wife. I‘m definitely going to be spending less so I can start that savings plan to finally put that deposit on a house. By about January the 6th it is Yes I must start that tomorrow and before you know it is December 31st and nothing much has changed. You of course are now feeling the new years eve blues.

How about you make this year different. How about you actually do something about it.

Many of you will have read this and said, “Why change now I have a perfectly good record of failing, why mess it up now”. Others will say, “But I have read all the books and it still hasn’t worked”.

The truth is you do have the ability to achieve. But like all things of value it will cost. The cost comes in many forms. Part of it will be money, but this is usually the least of the expenses. The real cost is you will have to lose an aspect of yourself. As you put this part down you will have the ability to pick up the new you, that you so desire to be, you deserve to be. One of my teachers from years past would say you have no right to share who you are with who you would become.

For change to take place the desire for the new must be greater than the comfort of the old. Frequently the desire for change will reside within your conscious mind. The comfort for what is current holds up with in your unconscious. The moment an individual acknowledges and accepts this, this is the first step towards making this year significantly better than the last.

The old adage is ‘Time is money; I have a different view, I believe time is life. It is about spending your time wisely, Each year you spend doing the same old thing, struggling with the same old issues is just a waste of life. Many people live as if they are going to live forever, yet die having  done very little with the greatest gift of all, life.

Time to change, realise that it will take another person to help you to change your unconscious conditioning. By training in NLP by attending NLP Coaching sessions or even becoming an NLP coach yourself ( as you teach others you will be creating huge amounts of emotional leverage on yourself to change ) you are taking the vital steps required to make this year better than the last. Make this year the year that you choose to change.

Remember Joy and Happiness comes in 3 forms.

Happiness level 1 is all about instantaneous. Some would say it is the Chinese food of happiness. Once eaten 20 minutes later you feel the need to eat again. As a society we are constantly marketed to with the intent to sell us the next short-term fix of happiness. From a commercial perspective this is perfect, the customer will need to buy your product again in 20 minutes. This of course benefits the seller but at what cost to the buyer?

Happiness level 2 is significantly more involved it take time to develop and time to achieve. You will not be able to buy it, you will have to develop it. These are things like relationships, a career, a particular skill, becoming a parent and being a fulfilled human being. Eating a chocolate would be the example of Level 1. Going to the gym and training for the next 6 months to get your body into peak performance is a level 2 happiness. Often to get Level 2 happiness you will have to let go of a little level 1 happiness.

Happiness level 3 is about your legacy. A healthy child, a redeeming social change, a solution to a simple or complex puzzle. It may be as profound as knowing that the people you are involved with breathe easier because of your existence.

Level 1 happiness is not better or worse than the other levels, it’s just that it’s short term. If you spend all the resources on short term solutions you’ll never be able to reach true happiness.

The message is simple when you spend all your resources on happiness level 1 there will always be an uneasy feeling of emptiness within you. As you spend more of your resources on Level 2, happiness and a feeling of being centred and fulfilled occurs. This then leads easily to Happiness level 3.

So when you’re feeling down or afraid of the new years eve blues, remember the difference between spending and investing. Spending leads to level 1 happiness, Investing leads to level 2 happiness. So next time you feel a bit empty or confused, ask yourself, is the solution to book an extravagant holiday for thousands of dollars for a week in Hawaii, that on returning you will be vibrant for a few weeks and then slide back into your old patterns or is it time to invest in your future of internal change.

Sales, they are the lifeblood of your company…

Sales, they are the lifeblood of your company…
There are so many training programs out there for Salespeople. Many claim to teach you how to close a deal using such convoluted and outdated techniques that simply leave your team confused and feeling worthless, simply because they do not know how to plug them in to their own situation.

Application is everything.

What if the process of selling was simpler than that, much simpler? What if you could have your team walk out of a training program and they could close deals like the pros, more importantly like they are on auto pilot? What if you could clone the results of your top performer and install them into every member of your team? What if you could even improve your top performer’s results?

Business is 80% psychology, 20% skill set – this is a well researched fact, yet so many organisations that come to us, tell us of the many thousands of dollars they have thrown at programs to upskill their teams, giving no real measurable improvement. Unfortunately, they are spending money on the wrong side of the equation, the skill set side. Unless your salespeople can ‘plug in’ the information for themselves, it is simply rolling the dice and hoping for the best… is this what you really want your training budget going towards, a chance that some will get it while many others won’t?

Dynamic Mind Works has been training people in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) for well over 20 years now. Our principal trainer, Robb Whitewood has been officially ranked as number one in Australia and seventeenth in the world. (Out of the thousands of trainers worldwide, this is an amazing achievement!).

One of our speciality programs, Neurological Selling has generated some serious results for many companies in the market, turning profits of many thousands of dollars, we can even boast of bringing one major Australian player into their first billion dollar year, (yes billion!).

Is the above true? best keep with fact.

It is much simpler than you may think.
Every person on the planet has their own unique way of purchasing something, the thing that would convince you to buy a product or service may not be the thing that convinces me to purchase. We all have a ‘hard-wired’ strategy in place within our own neurology that fires off a command to buy. So how do we discover this strategy?

Have you ever heard people complain that salespeople can be pushy?

The issue is, most salespeople can be a little arrogant and disrespectful of someone else’s buying strategy, they try to sell to someone using their very own hard-wired program and then wonder why the client does not respond in the same way that they would. The worst bit about this is that they will make excuses that ‘our asking price is too high’, or ‘the client is just broke’. Simply not true. Not only are you paying a wage to an ineffective employee, you are also not bringing in the dollars that were available on offer, for the closing. At the end of the day, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? We all know this equals madness. This constant issue will eventually drive your company out of business.
Neurological Selling trains your salespeople in the art of influence and advanced communication. Being able to elicit and read a persons unique buying strategy and simply feeding it back to the client with your product or service wrapped neatly inside, works every time. People cannot fight against their hard-wired neurology, once it is presented to them, they will feel compelled to act upon the feeling they have firing inside. We experience this every single day in many areas, try feeling bad when your sporting team wins a game, try feeling upset when you find a wad of 100 dollar bills on the side walk… you can’t. Training in Neurological selling generates the same results.

We take the confusion out of communication and show you the underlying workings of a persons mental process when deciding on buying or not. We simplify the entire process for you and will revolutionise the results your entire team will achieve, from your worst performer to your very best performer. Our training has been described as having an unfair advantage over the competition time and time again.

The fact is, there will always be a sale made, either you will sell a client on a ‘yes’, or they will sell you a reason of ‘no’. Which one would you prefer?

To discover how this training program will generate brilliant results for you and your team, contact Matt Ryan directly on 0400 340 480 or 1300 305 173 (Press 1 at the prompt).
You can find out more details about the training by clicking this link:

http://dynamicmindworks.com.au/course-catego…/sales-mastery/

We look forward to working with you.

Success or Failure: Rethink the Concept

By Robb Whitewood

There is a famous story of a first grade baseball player. One day, he had an accident on the way to school which meant that he had to have his arm amputated. Despite having one arm, he decided that he was still going to become a professional baseball player and he did. He somehow figured out a way to catch the ball and swiftly place the baseball mitt under the stub of his missing arm so that he could quickly throw the ball with his hand. It got to a point where he could do this faster than many two handed players. He learned how to hit a ball with a bat and was a full member of a first grade professional team. He became an inspiration to many people. He didn’t care that most people thought you needed two arms to do it. He conceptualised a way to do it and he just did it.

“There is no such thing as un-resourceful people, just un-resourceful emotional states.”

You are in charge of your mind and your results. You are in charge of your goals and levels of happiness and motivation. Your job is to operate each of these inside your own head, so you must take charge. People have all of the resources they need to achieve their desired outcomes. There is no such thing as un-resourceful people, just un-resourceful emotional states. If you have seen something being done, you have the resources to be able to do that same thing. It boils down to whether you believe it or not. For example, most people know how the body looks when it is in the act of snow skiing, even if they themselves have never done it before. Stand up right now and act as if you are skiing down a mountain. Automatically you will start to do what a skier does even if you have never done it before. Just like Neo in the movie the Matrix, you already have that resource stored inside your brain in a particular area which then allows you to access it from memory and act it out. If we shifted that resource from that part of your brain which was directly attached to all of the muscles and feeling associated with ACTUALLY skiing, you would be able to snow ski!

Just to reiterate, people have all of the resources available in order to carry out behaviour. If you have seen it, you have had direct access to the resources. Where it is located in the neural real estate determines whether you believe it or not, whether it is tied into your physiology, or whether it is just a fantasy. When somebody uses the word ‘can’t’, they are lying at that moment in time. It might take shifting from one area to another and some practice, but fundamentally, if a thing or activity is possible for one human being, it is possible for another. As soon as you say you can’t do something that you have seen, it creates a block. Fundamentally, whether you can do the thing or not, boils down to belief. If you shift that to the area of the brain which says “I can do it,” all of a sudden, you start acting as if you can. This is some of the magic of NLP.

“You must believe that there is gold everywhere because there is. All you have to do is pick it up.” 

There is an amazing documentary about a young boy who was born blind. His mother brought him up as if he was a sighted person, so now he operates like a sighted person. He walks around the house, rides his bike and does all of the things that sighted people do with ease. He uses his mouth to make clicking sounds and these sounds bounce off objects, telling him where he is in any given location. This is called echolocation.  If you are broke and are constantly complaining about being broke, you will be broke. A person who is incredibly wealthy does not walk around with the belief of being broke on the inside of their head. You must believe that there is gold everywhere because there is. All you have to do is pick it up. The moment you start believing and acting as if there are opportunities for you to make money, the opportunities will present themselves because your perception has changed. People who are in poverty have been trained to be in poverty. Poverty is a behaviour, not a circumstance.

Everything that we do is designed to increase wholeness. If you look at computer systems, they work because of different parts working together as a whole. The more fragmented those parts are, the slower the system, the more integrated the parts are, the faster the system. This is true for most systems. When working with people in NLP, your goal is to bring together all of the parts that make them who they are in order to increase wholeness. When dealing with a person, it is important to bring all aspects of their personality together under one leadership in order to make the person work significantly better.

“If you do something and get a result that you don’t like, you change the behaviour in order to get a different result.” 

Most relationships occur externally however the most important relationship that you have is internal. There is only feedback. When you do something, you get a result. To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. There is therefore, no such thing as failure, only results. If you do something and get a result that you don’t like, you change the behaviour in order to get a different result. You would then keep changing the behaviour until you get the result you desire. In life, the people that achieve are the people that persist.

Deepak Chopra spoke at a writer’s convention once. This is a man who is now world famous and a well-respected authority in his particular field. However, at the convention he spoke about the fact that when he first started, no one wanted to publish his book. He wrote the book and printed 1500 copies. He contacted 1500 publishers and no one was interested. He repeated the process and sent it out again and again. He refused to give up. He got to where he is now because of persistence. A lady that spoke at the same convention had a similar experience in that she could not get a publishing deal when she first started. She wrote a book on cookery even though she had no professional experience in cooking or writing. She contacted every publisher she could and got turned down by every one of them. Eventually, she self-published and took herself and her books on the road. She travelled from town to town doing signings in book shops. At last count, she managed to generate $6.3 million from selling copies of her book in this way. Eventually, she got a publishing deal with Hayhouse. That lady was Kim McCosker and the book was called 4 Ingredients.

When Harland David “Colonel” Sanders retired, he realised that he did not have enough money to live on. As a consequence, he decided to try to licence his secret chicken recipe to various restaurants in order to make a living. He went from restaurant to restaurant, living in his car. He got rejected over and over again, but every time he got rejected his skill grew. Harland David “Colonel” Sanders idea for a secret chicken recipe eventually grew into what became the world famous Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise.

“The world is full of unemployed geniuses and people with potential who are broke.” 

The world is full of unemployed geniuses and people with potential who are broke. The one thing that drives the bus is persistence. You fail till you succeed, not the other way around. Every time you fail, you learn something which will fast forward your success. Have your dream and keep going for it. Get in and start failing with gusto! The more you do it, the more you learn. Dick Smith is a multimillionaire. He went bankrupt three times before he made it. There is a millionaires club in the USA which will not allow you to become a member unless you are a self-made millionaire and you have been bankrupt at least twice! In their books, unless you have been bankrupt, you are just not playing the game.

Successful people fail more than their unsuccessful counterparts. Babe Ruth was a baseball player who is famous for hitting more home runs in one season than any other baseball player in history. In that same year however, he also had more strikeouts than any other player in history, a fact which is often conveniently forgotten when talking about his success. There was not a single season in which he did not strike out more than he hit home runs!

It appears on the surface that most famous people out there are overnight sensations. This impression is supported when suddenly, seemingly overnight; the media latches onto someone and spreads the word of their fame. However, often these celebrities worked tirelessly, continually failing for years before achieving success. The classic example of this is Willie Nelson. He used to write a song every single day! He was extremely disciplined. If you look at the top 40 songs over the last say 40 years, it is Willie Nelson whose name keeps cropping up time and time again.

“The meaning of the communication is the response that you get.” 

What we have been indoctrinated to believe is that failure is bad and when you fail you should give up. All of these examples prove that actually, failure is just a learning process and there is nothing bad about learning. The meaning of the communication is the response that you get. If I go up to a pretty girl and tell her that I am in love with her and she smacks me in the face, what is the meaning of the communication?  It has nothing to do with my intention, but everything to do with what came back at me. It’s as simple as that. If I say I love her and she kisses me, then that is what I love you means for her. If I say I love her and she starts taking her clothes off, then that is what I love you means for her! There is no argument, no dispute. We can foolishly be so arrogant in what we expect from our communication.

The law of requisite variety states that the person with the most flexibility within a system will control the system. This is one of my favourite assumptions of NLP. It doesn’t matter how intelligent you are, how ugly you are, how big you are, or how beautiful you are. None of those things matter. The person who has the most flexibility is the one who will gain control. Sheep dogs are able to control sheep even though strangely enough, their level of intelligence is about the same as the sheep. It’s because they are more flexible around the middle. They can turn around much faster than sheep.

“The law of requisite variety states that the person with the most flexibility within a system will control the system.”

Many behaviourists will tell you that humans control the planet because they have opposable thumbs and larger brains. I believe it is primarily because of our stomachs. We can pretty much eat anything. In addition, there is no specific mating season for humans! There exists an interesting documentary in which a Chinese zoologist talks about the demise of the panda bear. The translation is that they had done everything they could to keep the panda bears alive and that if they went extinct it was their own fault. There were a number of reasons for this. First, it is extremely difficult to work out the sex of a panda making it even more difficult to get them to mate. Maybe they themselves are confused about their sexuality! Second, they only eat one or two special types of bamboo plant which are found in a very specific region. If they eat such specialist food which is only found in one place and they hardly have sex, the chances of them surviving in the wild is pretty remote. They are like a biological dead end. They are restricted in terms of where they can live because of what they eat. Human beings, on the other hand, can live anywhere from the Arctic to the most tropical regions in the world and everything in-between and we can reproduce at any time we please.

It is important to understand the power that we hold within our own minds. Each thought that we have will determine our progress or outcome. Instead of looking at the results of our choices as either being a success or a failure, realize that it is simply a measurement of the thoughts and actions you have taken. You can then go and adjust your thoughts and actions to create a better-suited outcome which you may want to call that success. Either way, you have always had the power within you to create the outcome you wish. It is just a matter of fine-tuning your thoughts to get closer to your desired outcomes. Sometimes it is really just a matter of seeing it and then believing you can do it too.

Learn just how much power you already have in Robb’s NLP Practitioner course! Start living in a resourceful state today by enrolling via the home page.

Challenge What You Know: The Concept of Right and Wrong

By Robb Whitewood

In 2006 a documentary was released called “What the Bleep!? Down the Rabbit Hole”. In this brilliant film, the concepts of quantum mechanics, perception and reality are discussed.  One of the individuals in the film is a priest and he spoke at a seminar here in Australia where a student spoke up and said he absolutely agreed with the message but that he had no reason to worry about the religious stuff. He finished by stating that he was brought up in a non-religious household so the concepts of good and evil and heaven and hell had no impact on him. The priest responded by asking if he believed in right and wrong and the student immediately said yes, he did. The priest replied, “They got you…”

The concept of right and wrong or ethics is a human construct which is in actuality, a continuum of so called ethical choices that one can make. This is a complex debate, beyond the scope of this article which could go on for a long time, but simply put, indoctrination gives us definitions of what is right and what is wrong. Animals do not live by these concepts of right or wrong. In the case of the priest and the student, the priest told the student that there was no such thing as right or wrong, but if one is living according to the principles of right or wrong which are indoctrinated, and then one is still living according to religious dogma.

“The principles in the subject of this article may have you questioning everything you think is true.  You will question all of the rules you live your life by.”

The principles in the subject of this article may have you questioning everything you think is true.  You will question all of the rules you live your life by. You see, you cannot measure   something without measuring it. But the moment that you do measure it, you must ask yourself what rule you are applying in order to measure it, who gave it to you, who told you it was correct. This is because that very rule may no longer apply and therefore may no longer be true.

For example, a young girl was cooking a roast for the first time with the help of her mother who told her that she must cut the end off the roast. When the daughter asked why, the mother said that was just what she was taught by her mother, however, out of curiosity she instructed her daughter to call her grandmother and ask. Over the phone, her grandmother informed her that she used to cut the end off the roast so that it would fit into her oven.

Sometimes people hang on to rules and regulations because of the ritual of it rather than the practicalities or that the rule still holds true. At the age of about 10, I went to Israel and because it was a Jewish country, I was expecting not be able to buy pork anywhere. Not so! There was pork in all of the butcher shops. When we questioned some of the locals, their surprised answer suggested we thought they were from the middle ages. In the 1970’s, when I was around 11, we ended up in Italy, the home of the Roman Catholic Church. Because of what I had seen in Australia regarding the observation of Catholic rituals to the letter my sister and I assumed it would only be fish on the menu for Good Friday. We could not have been more wrong! All the butcher shops were open, even strip clubs were open for business. Again, things had moved on, but the people who had moved to Australia had held on to the rituals and passed them down through the generations, regardless of whether they were relevant to the time they were living in. They continued without even really knowing or understanding what the rituals were for in the first place.

” Most of what we know and understand to be right and wrong is put in place by the time we are seven years of age.”

Our rules and regulations can be insidious like that. Most of what we know and understand to be right and wrong is put in place by the time we are seven years of age. You may be in your thirties, forties, fifties or sixties. Whatever age you are, you are still operating according to the rules you learned as a small child. In fact, a lot of the things you learn in school, especially pertaining to how you learn are not really particularly useful in real life situations. For example, in school, if you are caught collaborating with another student, it is considered cheating, whereas in business, it is called collaboration or team work. At school, if you don’t know the answer to a question in a test, you get marked down for it. In business, you just ask. The foundation for all education and the real reason school exists is to support and teach Godliness, timeliness and cleanliness. We have not changed much. The purpose of school was originally to train people for factories. This is a subject that you can refer back to again and again. Even after 20 years of practice, if I find that something is not working, I go back to these assumptions. The answer is always there. It means that I am not applying some of these fundamental assumptions to the situation I am in. Challenging the assumptions of the rules you follow is an important practice and it will shape a lot of the way that you think from this point on.

Always respect the other person’s model of the world. Every person is the way that they are because of their experiences, their memories, values and strategies. Your entire history is what has brought you to the point where you are now in your life. When you respect another person’s model of the world and not try and force them into your way of thinking, you actively understand they’re doing the best that they can with all of the resources and knowledge available to them. You are acknowledging what they are doing, or have been doing makes complete sense to them. Do not insult people by calling them names or insisting you are right and they are wrong. Remember, there is no such thing as right and wrong, only choices. In any case, the moment you start to insult the person you are trying to communicate to or help, the relationship changes to being an adversarial relationship, which is counterproductive. Disrespecting another person’s view of the world also prevents you from finding out why the other person behaves the way they do. There is always a very good reason for their behaviour which can only be discovered with effective communication. You may think that they are a complete fool, but you must give them the respect that they deserve. You may discover afterwards that you need to go in complete opposite directions in life, but that is okay. They could be a homicidal maniac, suffering from depression or a sexual deviant; however, both of these are simply labels. Whatever the problem, there is a very good reason for their behavior.

“It is important to suspend your belief in order to help someone.” 

Once you start to examine someone’s reasons for their behaviour by respecting them and empathising with them, you may be surprised that they have not completely cracked up under the pressure. You cannot help someone by first disrespecting them, because when you do that, you are screaming that you do not understand them. It is important to suspend your belief in order to help someone. You have to be sensible in terms of the way you deal with people’s problems. For example, imagine you have a client with a phobia of water. Obviously, they want you to remove the fear, but you must be sensible in your approach. A complete absence of fear can be risky. A small amount of apprehension when it comes to dangerous situations can actually protect you. If a person cannot swim and they have absolutely no fear of water, they may drown if put in a situation where precautions are necessary. You want the person to have a normal level of respect for water and for their fear to be removed in the right context. The same applies to other phobias such as spider phobias. Evidently, it is appropriate to stay away from certain poisonous types of spider, but it is irrational to be afraid of tiny house spiders. Context is important.

Resistance in a client is a sign of a lack of rapport. In any situation where you are feeling resistance from the other person, or they are not doing what you want them to do, it just means you have not established enough rapport. When you establish rapport effectively, you are instinctively more capable of discovering the needs of the person and subsequently satisfying those needs. In a sales type situation, if your customer is resistant and is saying no, it means you have not established rapport and built some common ground. In social situations, the common ground might be social drinking or social smoking. Rapport is part of the glue that holds the fabric of society together. Essentially, you must assume that there are no resistant clients, only inflexible communicators. Your ability to conduct business is directly proportional to your ability to build rapport.

So do question your understanding of the concept of right and wrong and the assumptions of the rules you choose to follow. Question whether you are you blindly following rituals which are not relevant to you today. In the same vein, challenge where you perceive your judgment of people comes from and whether this is getting in the way of respecting others’ models of the world. Each of us is only doing the best we can with the resources available to us. If we removed the concepts of right and wrong completely from our view of the world, the ability to communicate, build rapport and create harmonious relationships would soar.

You will learn all about the concept of right and wrong in Robb’s NLP Practitioner course. Enrol today from the home page and learn how these concepts have kept you moving forward. Become empowered today and change your life!

 

Behind the Curtain: Optimal Health is in Your Power

Behind the Curtain: Optimal Health is in Your Power

By Robb Whitewood

We hear of disease every day and we tend to accept it as being a necessary part of life. But what is the real reason that we brush disease off as acceptable? If we delve deeper we realize that the fundamental part of what makes us human, our emotions, is the biggest player in the game of disease. The normal are very prone to disease because they spend so much time suppressing emotion that it affects their physiology. Emotions are not insubstantial things to be taken lightly. They are complex cocktails of hormones, neural peptides and enzymes. Their primary purpose is to drive the body into some sort of physical action.

“The normal are very prone to disease because they spend so much time suppressing emotion that it affects their physiology.”

When you experience fear it’s your body’s way of telling you to leave whatever situation it is that you are in. However, if you suppress fear, your body has to store all of that fuel and energy generated by the emotion. No wonder we put on weight when we are stressed. If we are angry or sad, again, that complex cocktail is involved! One of the primary objectives for losing weight is to examine how you deal with your primary emotions and relationships. Instead of suppressing emotion, you express emotion. This doesn’t mean that every time you get annoyed you should fly into a rage. Yes, that’s expressing your emotion and getting it all out, so to speak, but there is collateral damage to consider. Again, by flying into a rage, you are essentially being controlled by your external environment as opposed to you controlling it. Instead, consider how you could turn the situation to your advantage. When the world is throwing tomatoes at you, think about how you could turn them into tomato sauce. This places you in control rather than being controlled by everything that is going on externally.

Endocrinology is the branch of medicine concerned with the endocrine glands and hormones. From a neurophysiology and endocrinology perspective, when you have the emotion of fear for a prolonged period of time, it triggers the adrenal glands to release adrenalin. It also increases cortisol levels, pulling the blood away from the intestines and into the limbs and blood from the frontal lobe into the rear areas of the brain. This means that your ability to digest food is seriously compromised and instead of digesting food in a nice even way, the body has to make a decision about how to deal with the food. By this point there is not enough energy to digest it efficiently as the whole system is compromised, so the simplest solution requiring the least energy is to store it as fat. A whole host of health problems can then ensue, including the buildup of fat in the arteries. The excess cortisol in the system caused by being in a prolonged state of fear or stress leads to the hardening of the fat in the arteries resulting in arterial sclerosis or atherosclerosis.

“Stress is produced in our society primarily because of what we refer to as perceptional predators.”

Stress is produced in our society primarily because of what we refer to as perceptional predators. These are not literal predators! How many times have you been chased by a crocodile in the last three weeks? Perceptional predators are things that cause fear and stress similar from a chemical perspective to that which may be felt when being chased by a predator like a crocodile. The difference with perceptional predators is that this fear or stress can last for prolonged periods of time. How many times have you felt stressed out by arguments with your partner, paying bills on time, traffic, the kids or watching people getting killed on the news? It is highly likely that these types of stressful situations occur on a daily basis meaning that your adrenal glands are constantly being stimulated potentially leading to adrenal exhaustion. There are a multitude of symptoms that go with this including digestive problems, lower back pain, and fuzzy head. For some, the stress may become so much that you literally cannot function. As they say, “Your get up and go got up and went!” The adrenal glands are meant to react to situations in short bursts to provide you with much needed energy in an urgent situation. However, if you are constantly living in a state of stress, naturally, the glands will reach a point of exhaustion and you will literally lose the ability to function.  This opens the door to all sorts of disease.

In order to get around the constant barrage of stress that’s all around you, you have to stop and recognise that it’s all on the outside. The true master is on the inside. The river of life is running and the objective is joy and happiness and to be in control of that happiness. You cannot do it if you give away the power. Don Tolman, a health expert and advocate of self-care and self-education, once conducted a simple human experiment in which he offered a glass of water to a person and asked them to drink it. The person was so skeptical and worried about what could be in the glass that they refused to drink it. He handed them a sealed can of coke and they instantly took the can and drank it without any hesitation. But what did the person think was in the coke? Coke is full of high-fructose corn syrup. The consumption of large quantities of high-fructose corn syrup has been linked to obesity and diabetes. Coke is known to cause tooth decay. Even if they were drinking diet coke, there are still health concerns due to the artificial sweetener aspartame. Aspartame is a subject of controversy over its perceived link to cancer and is also known to cause deterioration in the normal decline of the kidneys over time if consumed on a daily basis. Yet this person would rather drink coke than a glass of tap water? That is brainwashing at its best.

“We cannot say that Monsanto is the baddie because they are just doing exactly what everybody else is doing.”

Monsanto is one of the biggest agricultural and biotechnology companies in the world. One of their chief aims is the spread of genetically modified crops to control the production of food globally. They play hard ball and they always win. If you were part of a collection of farmers who decided to go GM free and refused to buy Monsanto’s seeds, they would leave you to it, to an extent. They would sell to everyone else, but if they found their grain on your property by any chance, they could sue you, and having the deep pockets that they do, they would win. Monsanto always wins. After that, the next farmer would be more likely to buy their seed than anyone else’s. This does not mean that Monsanto are bad. It is just the way it is. It is the way the system works. We all do exactly the same thing in business. If you were in a hunting group, you would spear the animal you were hunting before the next person. It is about survival of the fittest. Therefore, you cannot say that Monsanto is good or bad. The way they behave is a normal human trait and they are just better at it. They have the power and ability to go one step further in order to win. Every conqueror in the world has played the same game. Every country in the world has played the same game. We cannot say that Monsanto is the baddie because they are just doing exactly what everybody else is doing.

Where do morals come into all of this? They don’t. The fact is morals are usually created by the people at the top to keep the people at the bottom under control. The people at the top will instantly change their morals when it suits them. There is no right, there is no wrong, it just is. When you spend so much time fighting against something which you perceive to be wrong, you can become the wrong doer in the process as you will have to break the rules in order to facilitate the rules. How many police have you seen go the wrong way due to this concept?

“The jails in America are all privately owned corporations. They get paid $50,000 per head, per inmate!”

During the Vietnam War, the Cambodians paid for the weapons by growing poppies which they turned into opium. The CIA then shipped the opium via Air America to the United States. This established what is now known as the Golden Triangle within Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand. Almost as soon as that war stopped, the war between Afghanistan and Russia started. The Afghani’s needed weapons, so the CIA gave them poppy seeds to grow heroin. By the end of the Afghani/Russian war, Afghanistan was producing up to 80 per cent of the world’s heroin. The Taliban then came into play and put the poppy growers in jail as they are fundamentalists and they do not believe in mind altering drugs. This reduced world heroin production to roughly two per cent in Afghanistan. The Americans went back into Afghanistan and heroin production went back up to about 90 per cent. The heroin is then shipped to America where it is sold on the street and if you get caught with it, you go to jail. The jails in America are all privately owned corporations. They get paid $50,000 per head, per inmate! The inmates work in jail, and that my friend is called slavery.

You can be sent to jail for possessing cannabis in the States. If you are caught with it and plead guilty, you can get up to five years. However, if you argue the case and you lose, you get 25 years. What would you do if you were faced with this predicament? You see, slavery is alive and well. The economic groups most likely to be in this predicament are those on low incomes. The main lobbyists campaigning to keep cannabis as a class A drug are the pharmaceutical companies, tobacco companies, and alcohol companies. Cannabis has a number of beneficial effects including pain relief, glaucoma, movement disorders and asthma, to name but a few. The side effects are actually low compared to the side effects of tobacco and alcohol, but it is not good for paranoia!

“We operate in a working slavery system that is highly effective and efficient.”

Everything has its down side. Like all medicines, if you take an appropriate amount it is beneficial. But if you take a lot inappropriately, it can do you harm. Our health is directly linked to our emotions and our current cultural system is not one that supports health that starts from within. We operate in a working slavery system that is highly effective and efficient. It isn’t good or bad, it just is. Be aware of your world and you can play the game more effectively, or just observe, either way, it’s up to you to choose.

Robb Whitewood is Australia’s number one rated NLP trainer in 2015. You can learn more about what is really going on behind the curtain and empower yourself via Robb’s NLP Practitioner course. Sign up via the home page today and change your life.

 

You Shouldn’t Should on Yourself

You Shouldn’t Should on Yourself

By Robb Whitewood

Should is an interesting word. An old teacher of mine used to say, “Robb, you shouldn’t should on yourself.” Only use the word should if you are in possession of a time machine! The word should by its very definition implies that if you had known what you know now at some point in the past, you would have done things differently. If you knew what you know now back then, you would have done something differently back then. But, it is only through the experience of doing it then that you are here right now, therefore, you can’t should on yourself.

“If you catch yourself saying should, give yourself a smack in the head, metaphorically speaking of course.”

Words have an effect on neurology and how you behave. If you catch yourself saying should, give yourself a smack in the head, metaphorically speaking of course. When there are problems, the neurotic unconscious mind is out of control. The normal mind spends an enormous amount of time trying to keep emotions in check to the point where it becomes almost like arguing with a naughty child throwing tantrums. The no limit mind on the other hand goes with the flow.

Imagine a young angry person has a knife to your throat and that you are yelling abuse at this person. Imagine calling them all sorts of names and telling them what a bad person they are while they hold your life in their angry hands. That is essentially your unconscious mind. I am actually amazed at the patience of the unconscious mind. It will put up with years and years of abuse while holding the blueprint to your health and wellbeing. Your unconscious mind has the ability to kill you, yet you are abusing it and giving it a hard time calling it ugly, stupid, greedy, dumb, fat… You are essentially abusing the person with the finger on the button that could end your life. How tolerant is that person? Can you imagine being that tolerant?

“One of the objectives of my teaching is to get you at least on good terms with your unconscious mind.”

One of the objectives of my teaching is to get you at least on good terms with your unconscious mind. Ideally, you will make it your best friend working side by side together. If you continually burn resources arguing, how can you possibly get anything constructive done? How can you live your dream? Neurotics tend to have no goals, normal individuals dream and no limit people have clearly defined goals. With those goals, they can structure what they need to get done and get it done today because it gets them to their objective. They love doing what they do, today.

So back to the word “should”…one of my many interests has been working on a boat engineering equation that took me ten years to crack. It turned out that the American government had put forward a one billion dollar research program to do the development of this same project which I was just doing for a bit of fun. I did crack the puzzle about four months ago, but it took ten years. There have been major problems with this puzzle over history. I am not really bothered about getting funding for myself, or patenting the design. I have just enjoyed the process. I am building it because it has meaning to me. There is no existence of the word should for me here.

“Any really good goal by its very definition, only needs to have meaning to one person and that is the person that has the goal.”

Any really good goal by its very definition, only needs to have meaning to one person and that is the person that has the goal. No one can die in your place, so no one can live in your place. Therefore your goal is to have meaning to you and no one else. When someone else tells you that you can only have meaning in your life when you do certain things, then that is their goal, their objective, not yours. Once you surrender those expectations back to the originator, then all that is left is what is important to you. What is left will have meaning and be of benefit to you. It will be the purpose of your life. No hallucination, no drama; just passion, focus, determination.

Now for the good and the bad news. I have had some individuals that have trained with me who have gone on to become multi-millionaires. I have had other individuals who have gone from having very high paying executive positions and thrown it all away for the purpose of following a dream like growing vegetables. One person I remember was earning about $5,000 a week. She was working so hard that she had no relationship, no social life and no prospect for doing much else other than working. I am happy to say that she now lives down the coast in a small guest house on a farm. She works one or two days a week in the city and she now has two kids with a man that she adores.

She was only doing the job because she thought that was what she was supposed to do after getting her degree. She thought that as a woman, she had to look for herself. Now, she has found a really healthy middle ground for herself.

“Can your unconscious mind kill you? Yes, without question.”

Another person just wanted money. He wanted to buy himself an F1 Ferrari and a 52 foot yacht. I know it was a 52 foot yacht because his neighbours’ was 51! This man came and did the practitioner course and he was well on the way to buying his Ferrari when he was diagnosed with leukemia. He therefore came back to us. What had happened was that his unconscious mind had become sick and tired of his life style which involved all work and no play and was seemingly driven by his ego. We had a serious conversation and we negotiated that he have at least one day off a week and did some exercise. Nearly eight years later, he runs marathons, he did not get the Ferrari, but he sold his large house and bought a house in the country. He still lives and works in the city, but he is making the transition from city to country life. His quality of life with his wife and kids is significantly better and he is much happier. He is still a financially wealthy individual, but at the time when he got sick, his unconscious mind was warning him to stop his ego driven lifestyle and live how he was supposed to live.

Can your unconscious mind kill you? Yes, without question. So everyday remember two important things; that you are in charge of your goals and that there is no room for should in the construction of your dreams. Your goals exist to create meaning in your life of which only you can decide if it supports your dreams or not. Make the choice to love what you are doing today or change it.

Enrol today into the NLP Practitioner course run by Australia’s top trainer, Robb Whitewood and learn more about creating meaning in your life without the “should”. You will find more details about the course and how to enroll on the home page.

Robb Whitewood ranked #17 in The NLP Global Gurus of 2015

Robb Whitewood has been ranked #17 in the world in the NLP Global Gurus category for 2015.

See the full list of ranked NLP Gurus here.

globalgurus_nlp

Robb is the top Australian in this list for 2015.  All his staff and students are very proud to be associated with this brilliant man who is a true Guru of NLP!

Train with the best in  Australia and one of the top in the World of NLP.

Congratulations to Robb and the team at Dynamic Mind Works.

What is the Global Gurus organisation? How do they pick the Gurus?

Global gurus is a research organization. We make our revenue from our advertisers at our sites and not from a GURU or GURU candidate.  Unlike other “Top Guru” or “Best…” lists out there, we do not sell our rankings nor do we give any ranking consideration to organizations who advertise. All Global Guru Sites choose remarkable leaders who makes an impact and who from people who took time to vote for them. They are NOT industry leaders, but people who support knowledge and personal / organisational development in their fields through speaking, training, books, and media.

For more information on our criteria for these thought leader lists, please see the “Global Guru Criteria” tab on the home page

In judging the contenders of the various Global Guru Categories, we focus on two groups, which excluded political, military and business people and focused on those practitioners, trainers, speakers and consultants who develop and instill competency in others. The Top 30 Gurus, in their respective categories are the “Cream of the Crop”, the World’s Top 30 most influential Professionals Speakers, Trainers and/or Consultants in their areas and have received more than 500 votes each. All not only apply their own principals to achieve superior results in their organisations, but develop and influence people and organisations throughout the globe.

Our research came from e-mails sent to 22,000 business people, consultants, academics and MBA’s around the world for nominations and our public opinion poll.

We shortlist 60 names then did a Google search for ranking, then requested voting.

The criteria for judging the TOP 30 focused on:

  • Public opinion – 30%
  • Originality of ideas – 30%
  • Impact of original ideas – 10%
  • Practicality of ideas – 10%
  • Presentation style – 10%
  • Number of publications and writings – 5%
  • Guru factor 5%

Is it Good or Bad?

By Robb Whitewood

You may think success means that you have to drive a certain car, buy a certain house, wear certain clothes or consume whatever material goods the media is selling you at a particular point in time. The moment you subscribe to such notions, you internalise somebody else’s notion of what happiness or success means. You internalise some marketing person’s definition of who you are. Young people are tortured endlessly by advertising. They’re sold promises that people will like them or find them more attractive if they buy certain products. I remember being at school, we are talking over 40 years ago now, and being heavily criticised because I chose to wear Amco jeans instead of Levis! That’s the power of advertising. I’m sure you can think of similar examples from your childhood.

One of the interesting phases of human development is the transition from childhood to adulthood. As a toddler, there is only one person in the world and that person is their mother. As the child grows, their perception increases to include dad and as they develop further, other members of the family are included. Around puberty, this arrangement flips on its head for the teenager as other people and things become more important than parents and family. Hormones are clearly a factor, but at the end of the day, it is the peers of the teenager that will become their sexual mates and their hunting party. Therefore, where they fit within the hierarchy of society among their peers will determine every action that they take from that point on. When you look at it this way, it becomes obvious that they must rebel against the family in order to determine where exactly they fit within society.

“School kids of 13 and 14 in today’s society will know more about sex than prostitutes of 60 years ago!”

As parents, you can make that process simple or you can make it torture. Each generation has their own river that they need to evolve into. When I was at school, the most rebellious thing was a bit of tobacco. Today they are dealing with all sorts of things. School kids of 13 and 14 in today’s society will know more about sex than prostitutes of 60 years ago! They are exposed to more things of an erotic nature than at any other point in history. That is the river that kids have to navigate today. As parents, you really need to respect and accept the river that your kids are falling into as they mature. It is not right or wrong and it has its own benefits and disadvantages.

Today’s river is completely different to the river that you looked into as a kid. When you were a kid, before all of this mass media and technology, what was the scope of your penetration into the world? What did your world consist of? Playing outside with friends, riding your bike? What you were doing at the weekend? Today’s kids are faced with a barrage of information and are living in all corners of the world through the technology that is available today. The fact that all of that information is pouring into young nervous systems that are not fully developed and they are handling it is nothing short of spectacular. I expect therefore, that there will be a number of behavioural issues that are directly associated with this volume of information. If you put a loaded gun into the hands of a child with the hammer back, it will go bang. I am not saying that there will not be casualties or that there will not be brilliant things that emerge from this generation because there will be. Every generation produces casualties and every generation produces brilliance.

“Every generation produces casualties and every generation produces brilliance.”

I watched a program about a group of children that were taken to England to learn how to operate Wellington bombers. The kids chosen for the documentary were the grandchildren of people who had done this themselves during the Second World War and were at the same age that their grandparents were when they went through the same process. The kids really struggled to hit the targets and there was no one shooting back at them. Yet back during the war, the kids did it. For the kids in the show, there was a sudden realisation of what their grandparents had gone through to allow them to exist. It was a real awakening. I am always thankful for the people that have gone before them, even if they have made mistakes. You are here because of all of the events that have occurred in the past. Good, bad or indifferent.

Was Adolf Hitler a good or bad person? The fact is that without him, certain technological advancements would never have occurred. The Boeing Corporation was put on the map specifically because of the Second World War. Computing systems were specifically developed for one purpose, to break the German coding systems. That event propelled all computer technology maybe 100 years into the future. The Motorola Company sold walkie talkies to the US government. Motorola chips were the first chips to be used in all mobile communications devices which set the standards for mobile phones. Penicillin was pushed forward in leaps and bounds because of the Second World War. You must understand that events are neither good nor bad. They have consequences; for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. But, you may not know the consequences for many years after the event itself because none of us can account for the price at the point in time when the event is occurring.

“Was Adolf Hitler a good or bad person? The fact is that without him, certain technological advancements would never have occurred.”

This charming story of a two neighboring farmers illustrates the point very well. One of the farmers was a widow who had a son and a horse. The father and son used to plough the fields with the horse. One evening, a herd of wild horses appeared from nowhere causing the mare to break free and run off with them. The neighbor leaned over the fence and said, “Bad news about your horse running away. You guys are going to have to plough the fields by hand.” “It may be good or it may be bad. I don’t know,” said the farmer.

About a week later, the mare, being the dominant female in the group, came back with the entire herd of wild horses. The old guy from next door leaned over the fence and said, “Good deal you have got with all those new horses.” “It may be good, it may be bad. I don’t know,” the farmer replied. A couple of weeks later, the farmer’s son had an idea to break in some of the wild horses and sell them to make some money. The young boy fell off one of the horses and broke his leg in the process. The old guy from next door leaned over the fence and said, “Shame about your son’s leg.” “It may be good, it may be bad. I don’t know,” came the farmers reply. The neighbor was by this point thinking the farmer must be a bit crazy. A couple of weeks later however, the army came to town looking to conscript young men. The young boy could not go because he had a broken leg. Maybe good, maybe bad. You can not garner the full consequence of an event at the time the event is occurring.

“There is really no such thing as good or bad, only the consequences that come from a choice.”

I once asked an electrical engineer how you could tell if a battery was good or not. He told me the process of checking it. He said that basically, you put it into a testing unit where you discharge it through meters and record the voltage being pushed out by the battery over a period of time. You can then see how long it lasts and when it collapses. I said “Yes, but by that time, the battery is dead!” To which he replied, “Yes, you acknowledge that it was a good battery and throw it away.” You only know if a battery was any good AFTER it has lived. You cannot tell during the process.

So let’s be careful when we look at the world as good or bad. You can become imprisoned inside this concept and it locks you into a mindset of fear that can be avoided. There is really no such thing as good or bad, only the consequences that come from a choice. Teach your children this and you will teach them how to be at cause, the most empowered position to be in when you play the game of life.

You will learn more about good and bad in the Perception and Reality module which is unique to Dynamic Mind Works and Robb Whitewood. You can study Perception and Reality within the NLP Practitioner course. Sign up from the home page to gain access to 8 NLP videos.

 

Neurotic, Normal, No Limit

By Robb Whitewood

People fall into three main categories; neurotic, normal or no limit. Or as Dr Wayne Dyer puts it; effect, effect at cause and cause. Individuals that operate in the no limit zone live their lives in an adventurous way. They’re always at cause and when something bad happens, they take the necessary steps to resolve it. The neurotic individual blames everybody else for their problems, has no control and constantly complains that bad things always happen to them. If you apply a bell curve to a spectrum of people in a population, the normal people, the people who form the majority, fall into the center of the curve and will be at cause for some things and effect for others. The no limit group is just at cause. Neurotic individuals are controlled by the external world. The people who fit into the normal spectrum are at cause for some things and effect for others and as a consequence, are always trying to control what is on the outside. Remember too that the more control you have, the more you need to control and then more resources are required in order for you to expand what you control. Normal and neurotic people end up in a human sized hamster wheel, constantly running. The more they run, the faster they need to run, which leads to the consumption of more energy in order to maintain control of the wheel. It goes on in a never-ending cycle. We see this frequently in society where we take on a second job to pay for the time-saving devices that we need to save time, so we have to work more to buy more time-saving devices!

“Normal and neurotic people end up in a human sized hamster wheel, constantly running.”

No limit individuals simply go with the flow to achieve their goals. They may even set their goal in in a certain direction because that’s the way the wind is blowing. They tend to set objectives and do whatever it takes to get there. Instead of trying to fight against it, they’ll constantly work with their environment.

The River of Life

One famous tale from eastern philosophy tells of Confucius walking with a number of followers to a river which had a reputation for people committing suicide by jumping into the rapidly moving currents. As they were walking, they saw an elderly man jump into the river. Everybody was upset by what they saw so Confucius instructed the followers to run down and drag the body from the river. However, as they were running, they saw the old man walking back from the river completely unharmed. They said, “Aren’t you lucky to survive?” The old man replied, “No, I have been doing this for years. The river is infinitely more powerful than I will ever be, so when it pushes me down, I take a breath, when it pushes me to the left, I move to the left, when it pushes me to the right I go to the right. When it pushes me close to the shore, I reach up, grab a branch and swing to shore.”

Imagine the river described above as the river of life. How many of us flounder and fight desperately against the river of life? Life is like that, it is powerful. Try and fight against it and it will win. Have you spent lots of time, energy and sweat fighting against life?

The neurotic individual will need an instant emotional response to any given situation. They tend to be reactionary individuals that have no control over their emotional response. It is just there. If someone hits them on the head, they would respond immediately with emotion. The normal group tends to suppress their emotions. They try to keep all of their emotions under control when something happens. The no limit group directs their emotion. This doesn’t mean they lack empathy; they will just act on it. These are the individuals that will set up fundraising initiatives if they see a starving child on TV rather than sit down and feel bad about it.

No limits: “These are the individuals that will set up fundraising initiatives if they see a starving child on TV rather than sit down and feel bad about it.”

Taking Responsibility 

I had the fortune of knowing a martial arts teacher who had an interesting view on winning or losing. His perspective was that if he left a fight and his clothes were ruffled in the fight, he had lost. His reasoning was that if his clothes were ruffled, the battle had changed who he was and this was unacceptable. Do you get ruffled or perturbed by day to day events? If you do, you are allowing the situation and people around you to control who you are. How many times have you lost it because a phone rang at the wrong time? How many times have you been affected by the content of a phone call? You are allowing an external thing or event to control your internal state. It could be your wife, your husband or your kids. You could be floating along perfectly well and all of a sudden the wheels fall off because something occurs on the outside. Would you like to be the master or the slave in life? Frequently, we give power away to organizations, banking systems, political systems, medical systems, school systems. All the answers that you will ever need exist in one place right now. Inside YOU!  Mental bodybuilding to get to the position of no limit is important because only you are in charge of your happiness. You are in charge of your own clarity. You are in charge of your finances. YOU are responsible for your actions. When you accept this you can clearly see the consequences of each action you take. Then you can decide if those consequences are worth you taking that action or not.

The current economic situation is not great globally. At the time of writing, the markets are not doing well in Europe and America, but in every economy, somebody somewhere makes money! Being adaptable, like a chameleon, to any situation will help. During the great depression, there were a few industries that made an absolute fortune in alcohol, gambling and prostitution. Those businesses instantaneously took people away from the problems they had via an altered state. But why do you have to take something from the outside to change something on the inside to create an altered emotional or psychological state?

We have seen that the neurotic individual blames everyone else for their bad luck. They think that the whole world is crazy except them. The fault is always external. The normal person takes on some responsibility. The no limit person accepts responsibility and has the, “if it’s to be, it is up to me” approach to problems. There is no question of fault, they just look for what they want to achieve and they take action. I can guarantee that you will cover the entire span of all three personalities. There will be subjects that you handle in a neurotic way. There will be others that you handle in a ‘normal’ way and there are subjects that you will be extraordinary at handling- no limit. The problem is that they may not all be operating at the same moment in time. Like a chain, they always break at their weakest link. The area where you have a problem will always be operating at the lowest end of the spectrum.

“What we do well, we have a tendency of liking, what we do not do well we have a tendency of avoiding.”

This does not mean that we have to give you a complete personality transplant, just address the one with the squeaky hinge. A minor change will be the one that makes a significant change to your life. What we do well, we have a tendency of liking, what we do not do well we have a tendency of avoiding. For example, you may be great at having relationships and have wonderful social networks with a full social life, but be really bad at knuckling down and doing work. You may be able to form an amazing relationship, but at some point, you may fall down if you are unable to hold down a job as that is your weak point. This may also have an impact on your relationship. Naturally, in response you may decide to be a nicer person, be more social, or any of the things relating to relationships which you are naturally good at. But obviously this does not address the real issue, your ability to knuckle down and work. An incremental improvement in the weak link will lead to a significant improvement in the overall problem.

It’s a bit like having two holes in a bucket, one at the top of the bucket and one nearer to the bottom of the bucket. If you mend the one at the top and keep trying to fill the bucket up, the water will only ever get as high as the hole at the bottom, so the fact that you fixed the hole at the top will have made no difference whatsoever. Fix the hole at the bottom however and you will see a significant improvement in the amount of water you can put into the bucket.

What you are learning right now may seem pretty straight forward, but when you come to start changing your perceptional ability, these foundations are vital. You will get to a point where you will think this is so obvious! Why did I not do this before? The answer has nothing to do with intelligence or even common sense; it’s simply that you didn’t have the mechanical understanding until now. As they say, practice makes perfect so start to enjoy the benefits of being at cause and the satisfaction of being a no limit kind of person.

Robb teaches the concepts of Neurotic, Normal and No Limit within the NLP Practitioner course offered by Dynamic Mind Works. Sign up from the home page to gain access to 8 NLP videos.

Are you at Cause or Effect?

By Robb Whitewood

Cause and effect is a fundamental concept for me. I think it is one of the biggest things for producing change. When something happens to you and you acknowledge that thing, then that puts you at effect. You’re pretty much powerless to do anything. But when something happens and you ask, “How did I make that happen?” That question helps you find the cause which then helps you to change the behavior. If you constantly blame someone or something else for your pain, you literally become powerless to do anything about it. This is called living on the effect side of the cause and effect equation.

“We live in a blame culture that’s so bad that if there is a cliff face without a sign and someone falls, the council can be sued.”

A friend of mine was the mayor of Parks, a town in Australia. He happens to be the longest serving mayor in the history of Australia. He said that if one more person sued the Council for tripping over a foot path he would rip out all the foot paths in all of the parks. He added that if another kid fell out of a swing and the family sued the council, all swings in the park would be gone. This is how litigious society has become. We live in a blame culture that’s so bad that if there is a cliff face without a sign and someone falls, the council can be sued. The irony is the knock on effect; people are now so trained to NOT take responsibility for themselves that even with a railing in place, some people would still sit on the railing and then wonder why they fell. This is instead of taking responsibility for the fact that they should have checked the stability of the railing before sitting on it.

The subject of cause and effect is interesting to dissect.  If we look at the effect of things, or what has actually happened, you end up pointing the finger of blame. But if you are on the cause side of the equation, what you get is results. The more you pull your awareness from effect, the more you can focus on what is actually occurring and therefore have the power to do something about it. I will guarantee that on certain aspects of your life, you will be sitting on cause side of the equation. And with other aspects of your life, you will be sitting on the effect side of the equation. It is almost like a pendulum in that respect, it will swing from one side to the other, depending on what area of your life you are looking at.

Let’s make the assumption here that we can eliminate all of the effect side of the equation and focus on cause. Because of this formula, we end up with empowerment. Focusing on cause gives you the ability to solve problems. I may not know that I am the cause of everything that happens to me in my life but, when I accept that “shit happens” (and pretend that whatever is going wrong in my life is happening to me like I am separate from it) instantly, I am powerless to do anything about it. On the other hand, I could choose to believe there was some action that I took that caused it to happen. In this way, there must be some other action I can take to generate the outcome that is beneficial for me.

You could argue, for example, that it’s Robb’s fault that this bad thing happened to me because he carried out this action. You would be disempowering yourself. You were part of the cause in the perceived problem with Robb by simply being in the relationship. Whether in your relationship with the person, your attitude, your thoughts, opinions or bias; whatever it is caused the thing to occur. You could still make excuses at this point, but I would argue that the moment you start to do that, you put yourself back at the effect side of the equation, completely powerless to do something about it.

“One of the common traits of highly successful people is that they are at cause.”

One of the common traits of highly successful people is that they are at cause. They place themselves there. For example, I could be having some sort of communication issue with you. Placing myself at the cause, I would naturally and instantly be empowered to begin to look for solutions, to the communication issue. Placing blame is a really easy cop out that keeps you at effect keeping you powerless to change the communication issue.

My dad has an interesting saying. Putting the cause and effect equation simply and succinctly, he says, “Robb, if you find yourself in a problem, get yourself out.” Another wise person I know says, “When you find yourself in a ditch, stop digging.” These sayings are both true, because whatever your situation is, your behaviour has got you to that particular point. At rehab programs like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), the first step is to raise your hand and say, ‘I have a problem, and this problem does not have anything to do with the rest of the world. I am the cause.’ This can be a difficult thing to do, to be able to hold your hands up and say, “I am at cause.” However, as I make that statement to myself, I can then do something about it. This also includes the choices of people that you hang around with. I have found that when I put myself at cause, the people around me either fall away or they pick up their game. This is often called the ‘Drama cycle’- victim, persecutor, rescuer, and observer. People who are in victim mode actively go out looking for persecutors to persecute them and rescuers to rescue them. This is a cycle because they need the persecutor so they can have the problem so that they need the resources of the rescuer. Rescuers spend their time actively looking for a victim so that they can save them, which boosts their sense of self-esteem. The moment you start to change your role in this drama cycle, the other parties involved start to fall away as you no longer fit into whatever role you were playing for them, victim or persecutor. If I am the one being victimized and I get myself at cause, I need to ask myself exactly what it is that I am doing to cause the behavior of the persecutor.

“I’m going to be brutal here and say that if you walk into a situation and someone tries to hit you over the head, something in you caused that to occur.”

As humans, we are constantly working out where we are within groups. Are you dominant or passive? If you are constantly being dominated in a situation, the question is what you are doing to allow that to occur. If you don’t ask yourself this, you are at effect and are powerless to change the situation. If I act as if I am dominant, I am instantly empowered to do something about it. I’m going to be brutal here and say that if you walk into a situation and someone tries to hit you over the head, something in you caused that to occur. That causing factor may be something unconscious that you and the offender are completely unaware of. Animals, especially cats and dogs, will not run after something as if it is prey until it ACTS as if it is prey. The very action of running away is the signal to the cat or dog that the thing they were observing is prey. Up until the point when the prey started to run, the prey was not aware that it was prey and the predator was not aware that it was a predator. So when it comes to cause and effect, I would like to challenge you from this point on.  Make “I am at cause,” your catch phrase from now on and remember, “If it is to be it is up to me”.

Robb teaches the concepts of cause and effect within the NLP Practitioner course offered by Dynamic Mind Works. Sign up from the home page to gain access to 8 NLP videos.

 

Things Are Not What They Seem

By Robb Whitewood

I was involved in a TV commercial a long time ago and the experience made me realise how much television is all about fantasy. The experience took nearly 4 and half days of me being wet and cold in a river. The actual commercial shown on television was about 30 seconds long!

There were two versions that were released, 30 and 45 seconds. Even though you only saw three people and a dog in the commercial, there were actually 35 people in the crew. Anything that you see on television is fantasy. Even our news is a fantasy. We have a very solid structure in our society, if it bleeds it leads. So what do we see? What we perceive is a distorted view. If it elicits an emotional reaction then we are drawn to watch it. If our primary emotions of fear, anger, and sex are involved, we will watch it because we get an emotional reaction. The news is therefore fear, anger, and sex and we are drawn to watch and listen.

This is essentially the framework for what I teach. I’d like to take you into Alice’s rabbit hole for a moment. Many of the things that you have held to be true for the vast majority of your life, are about to be made to look different. Former truths such as who you are, the roles that you play, even down to gender issues will be shaken up a bit. For starters, I will be upfront and tell you that I am very much against the women’s movement. I’d give my life defending your right as a human being, but on the basis of gender, I will not. You have to understand what the primary purpose of this movement was. Who were the main supporters in the USA for the women’s movement? Industrialists. Because the industrialists realised that if women came into the workforce that would double the workforce. This in turn, meant double the number of people for the industrialists to sell to. More employees in the workforce meant more income tax for the government.

“For starters, I will be upfront and tell you that I am very much against the women’s movement.”

Of course, the government was really happy about it because they collected more tax and the corporations were really happy because they knew it would grow the economy. The one group that was most against the women’s movement were women that were married to successful men. It meant that there was more competition in the workplace. When we are presented with something we always have to ask what is behind it. What is the political agenda that goes behind it? What is the neurological agenda that goes behind it? Many of the things that we hold to be true could actually be a little bit more flexible than they appear.

In the Matrix, what was Neo doing? He was uploading images, memories and skills like Kung-Fu into his unconscious mind which he could then reproduce as if he had spent years learning and practicing. You will learn methods by which you can do this in NLP. You will learn how to change something that you like into something that you dislike. Something you dislike into something you like can switch very fast. You will have the ability to change something you believe to be absolutely true into something that is no longer true or vice versa.

“Kids are often incredibly skilled at a particular thing which has no value to the parent.”

How do you drive behaviour? You drive behaviour based on what you like and what you believe. What you dislike and what you don’t believe, i.e., your values. That’s how you make decisions. Value hierarchies directly determine how you spend money and how you spend time, which will in turn, determine how much money you have and what you get good at. If you spend more time playing pin ball, guess what you get good at? A lot of people jump up and down complaining that their kid is a no-hoper. Kids are often incredibly skilled at a particular thing which has no value to the parent. They can play guitar, ride a skateboard, or play computer games. How will these skills help them get work or employment? Their particular skill set may have no consequence to the parents, but may have absolute consequence to their social ranking within the peer group. This is where they are going to get their business from when they become young adults. Just because a skill has no value to one group doesn’t mean that it won’t have value to another group. Did you have a laptop on your desk at school? Many kids do these days. The world has changed. So things really may not be what they seem, and this goes equally for mature aged people who have lived a long life, to parents, to teenagers, to children. It doesn’t matter how old you are, there is always something you think you know that can be challenged or that you can re-examine from another angle. What you previously held as truths becomes more flexible and changeable.

All you need to challenge the varying degree of fantasy or truths you hold onto is a little curiosity. Richard Bandler, one of the co-founders of NLP, talked about this attitude of curiosity and adventure and the desire to learn. This attitude is critical. Think of the intense curiosity of a six year old on the day before Christmas who knows there are lots of exciting presents hidden in the house somewhere. That curiosity, combined with a burning desire to learn about effective communication strategies and methodology is what will surely take you down the rabbit hole.

The Perception and Reality module is unique to Dynamic Mind Works and Robb Whitewood. You can study Perception and Reality within the NLP Practitioner course. Sign up from the home page to gain access to 8 NLP videos.

How to Choose an NLP Trainer

Choosing an NLP Training in Australia

Hypnosis Australia, November 2001

By Dr Tracie O’Keefe DCH, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Psychotherapist & Counsellor
Editorial Director of HypnosisAustralia Online.

In looking at how to assess and choose a training in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) in Australia today, we first need to define exactly what is NLP. The reality is that NLP is many different things to many different trainers. To hypnotherapists, psychotherapists, psychologists and psychiatrists NLP is a set of tools taken from the work of the therapists Milton Erickson, Fritz Perls and Virginia Satir and put together as a serious of procedures to accelerate behavioural and experiential change to use with patients/clients. To the business person learning NLP, it is a serious of self and other communication methodologies to increase performance and improve communication, and to the individual undergoing an NLP training for self-improvement it is a journey into mind technology.

One of the problems with defining NLP is that its originators Richard Bandler and John Grinder strongly disagree about what it is. Also because it has turned into second, third and so on-hand knowledge it has evolved into disembodied variation of the original concepts. Since Bandler’s lawsuits in the US and the UK failed to patent NLP it is now on a journey to becoming customised to a discipline as taught by the trainer, loosely related to the original concept.

From HypnosisAustralia Online’s perspective, NLP is hypnosis by any other name. That makes it very powerful but unfortunately because many individuals are being taught it have not been trained in basic hypnosis or psychology, it also makes it very dangerous in the wrong hands.

Many teachers of NLP divide their trainings into two categories and they will only train mental health professionals alongside each other. Their business clients they will train separately. Other trainers put all the people they have enlisted on their courses together but this is unacceptable to many healthcare professionals and they vehemently avoid such courses. They believe that it is a waste of their time training in NLP with people who have little idea about the kind of problems that it might resolve and they also object to some NLP technologies being taught within a sales environment.

In the UK the Association of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (ANLP), which is the largest membership body, is divided into two sections. The first is ordinary membership and they second the psychotherapy section. Those who belong to the psychotherapy section are generally training to go towards recognition as a psychotherapist using NLP as a therapy and can even be working towards becoming a member of the United Kingdom Council of Psychotherapists, which is a most prestigious register, allowing them to practise in the National Health Service. No such moves have, as far as HypnosisAustralia Online is aware, happened yet in Australia, but we believe that in years to come when psychotherapy eventually becomes recognised sufficiently to warrant an official government register, then that division will most definitely happen.

At present there is no quality control over NLP training in Australia by any major body and although trainers do belong to various sub-associations they have no common consensus on training standards. Lengths of trainings can vary enormously, generally from an accelerated five-day training to a 23-day training. Some companies even train both the Practitioners and Masters certification back to back. Since the laws on using this technology are non-existent and the advertising in Australia allows advertisers to promise virtually anything, many of the applicants to training courses are led into thinking they can become competent practitioners, often in less than a month.

Other course trainers tempt customers by throwing in the promise to teach them hypnosis as well but fail to tell the applicant that if they were to damage a person with hypnosis, few insurance companies would pay out because of the person’s small amount of training. Learning to use hypnosis within a healing environment is a training that needs to take place over a number of years, not days. Often some NLP practitioners do not know how to deal with abreactions, cannot recognise the signs of mental illness, and know virtually nothing of biology.

I interviewed Robb Whitewood, a Sydney NLP trainer with Dynamic Mind Works since 1999 and whose background in Chinese medicine. He told me that his trainings are 14 days for both Practitioners and Master Practitioners certification at eight hours per day. He trains both therapists and business people together in the same course and assured me that the Counsellors and Psychotherapists Association (CAPA), who are now a member of the Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia (PACFA), were aware of this and sanctioned such training.

Whitewood said that the students could attend a student clinic where they would work with clients together with experienced practitioners and that students could undergo supervision.

He would like to see the future of NLP in Australia as the development of a common code of ethics, sound clinical experience, practitioners being aware that they should not work with severe physical or mental health problems unless they are otherwise trained to do so, ongoing professional development, supervision and better communication between the training organisations. He also wants to see Australian research validating the use of NLP.

When asked if he would like to see NLP practitioners on an official government register, Whitewood was reticent and said that depended on the cost to NLP. He would not like to see it turn into an academic training lasting years.

I also spoke to an agent for a foreign trainer of NLP training in Australia, who told me that I did not need any previous experience, was guaranteed a place on the course, could learn a large part of it via tapes and books beforehand, and that I would be able to earn money as a practitioner after just one week, without having to be a member of any professional association in Australia. He was assuming that I had no previous experience in a caring profession.

Another training company that I spoke to told me that they wanted to train their Practioners and Master Practitioners on a 21-day plus course because they were training to standards that they believed were more international in the health professions. When I looked on the internet I was able to see that training times varied wildly and that was even amongst the most experienced and established of trainers.

What is obvious is that NLP training is a very competitive business today and that some trainers are willing to offer cut-throat prices and short courses to pull in the customer, promising them the earth in a week or so. One trainers company I spoke to in London claimed to make a $1,000,000 AUD from one single 14-day training. Buyers, however, must beware that short certifications may seem very nice at the time but they are often not accepted should students then want to go on to train further as a therapist, particularly when no supervision after the course is offered on regular basis. It can be deeply embarrassing and disheartening for people when they turn up at schools and universities with some of these short certifications and expect to get credits for future courses, which are generally refused.

A short accelerated training in NLP is often acceptable for a healthcare professional who has a background in mental health as part of their continuing professional development, but for the novice wishing to embark on a career as a therapist, they are little more than self-development.

Training requirements in Europe and certain states of the US are profoundly more demanding than those in Australia. Such trainings are often monitored by national bodies, governments and the academic structures. In Australia NLP trainings are still a free-for-all and some students are mistakenly coming out of trainings thinking they may practise hypnotherapy competently as well as NLP, which they are not necessarily trained to do.

There is no doubt that NLP technology is a refinement of the evolution of some behaviour change techniques, but on its own cannot constitute sufficient training for someone to then go out and work with other people without supervision. I remember a year ago encountering a case in London when a young man, who had just done an accelerated Practitioners and Master Practitioners course attempted to work with a woman who was suicidal, without supervision. After the first session she was so disheartened, thinking that NLP could not help her, that she killed herself.

Their is no fast track way to become a psychotherapist of any kind so when researching into what NLP training a person might like to undergo they should think five to 10 years down the road and wonder how those trainings will be viewed then and what use it will be to themselves and their careers.

How to contemplate Part II

By Robb Whitewood

Contemplation versus affirmation.

(see first how to Contemplate Part I)

There is considerable similarity between the 2 processes. With an affirmation of what we are doing is holding a repetitive phrase within our conscious awareness. In the exercises that we’ve been running the phrase has been ‘ I’m a money magnet’. If we were to simply repeat this phrase over and over again it would be referred to as either a mantra or an affirmation. The primary difference with contemplation is that we are looking for what are the consequences or conclusions that we come to by holding this thought.

An example of this could be that we start off with the statement ‘ I am a money magnet’ and this leads us to ask, what does this mean? our mind may give us a response of something like ‘this would mean I would have more time to do the things that I enjoy’. By doing this we have created a link between the sentence ‘I am money magnet’ and the concept of having ‘more time to enjoy things’. Of course once this realisation is made we start again ‘I am a money magnet’ this time we might come up with the idea literally of how to make more money. Each time we go through the process of asking the question we create a new neural Association. The primary purpose of this is that every time we create new associations it has an effect on what we see in the world of physical reality. This in many ways is quite similar to the way character recognition software operates. The 1st step for a computer to use character recognition is that it has to have a library of letters to compare with what has been scanned. If it has no letters on the inside it can’t see them on the outside. Human beings are very much the same if they don’t have a pattern on the inside of their head it very difficult for them to perceive it in physical reality. I suppose simply put if I’ve been trained to see the colour blue, I can see blue. However if all of a sudden purple is presented to me and I have no pattern on the inside of my head to recognise purple, this colour would simply be invisible to me.

By using the process of contemplation we are growing our ability to see things and take advantage of things that are always around us.

When we enter into the world of quantum physics and esoteric studies we end up doing exactly the same thing. We hold an image of our completed goal in our mind. Please hear the most important thing of all is that it is of the completed goal. As we hold this image it is also imperative that we experience all of the internal feelings of actually having reached this point in time. It is through this process that we actually start to vibrate with emotion. The primary purpose of course is because of the rule of harmonics. Things that vibrate at a particular frequency harmonise with things in their environment of the same frequency. So in other words like begets like. If I’m feeling wealthy then I attract wealth into my life. This is the reason that we use the sentence ‘ I’m a money magnet’.

Mindset : The Warrior vs The Soldier

By Kresant Mahilill

Over the past few month’s I have to admit that I’ve been feeling burnt out on the progress towards my goals especially the one of achieving financial freedom. Waking up in the morning to prospect for new clients , going to the gym to beat my last deadlift, to run faster than my last 5km, to buy another property, to do more personal development than yesterday – fellow dream chasers, holla if you feel me 😀

“Why am I doing this to myself ?” – I thought
To Be the Best I Can Be.
To Take Every Opportunity.
To Never Give Up – To Never Settle

Then why the burn out, why the struggle, and why the Pain of the Process rather than the Joy of the Journey !

If your a dream chaser you’ve been here before. The Certainty of your Vision, Purpose and Passion have been tested by the storm of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt.

Today – I had a blue sky moment !

What if i’ve been living the last few years as a Solider ie disciplined, methodical, clinical, surgical and systematic in the process of “achievement”. The solider does as he is told, follows the process, never questions authority and is good at taking orders.

What if I could live as a Warrior or “Bushido”. Where all that matters is progress, perfection of technique, every trial is lesson, and every battle is a school ground. Where goals are important but fleeting and momentary, but the journey and discovery of self is the real prize. To move past emotion and the illusion of victory and defeat.

The way of Awareness, Becoming & Being.

Self knowledge is the goal.

Where the state in which you practice and learn is everything. There is never failure – only feedback. Then all obstacles are “on the way” and never “in the way”.

The Effort is still Present – but the Struggle is no more…

I Choose Warrior!

May the Force Be with You All 😀

Thank you – to my teachers :)
Robb Whitewood – for bringing to my awareness what I have know but had forgotten.
Nina Concepcion – for the listening to my heart, remembering my intuition and the power in vulnerability
Kancho Deena Naidu – for never giving up on this wayward budo-ka! Domo Arigato always”

How to Contemplate Part I

By Robb Whitewood

Quite a number of individuals have been contacting me either through e-mail or over the phone and asking me to clarify the very process of contemplation and how it differs or is similar to the process of affirmation.

Before we begin describing the difference between contemplation and affirmation we need to realise that we are operating in at least 2 distinct realms. The 1st realm is the one of creating new neural pathway, with the creation of new neural pathways new behaviours can be generated. The 2nd real his entry into the world of metaphysics and quantum physics. This is the world of vibration, frequency and harmonics.

It is important to note the many very famous individuals have used this very system or something very similar. Within these ranks we can find Kings, presidents, multimillionaires entertainers and many of the great people of history. It is far from a new concept, its origins can be found in pre-Egyptian time. Variations of this methodology can be found within religious systems of the world esoteric communities which include the Masons, The Knights Templar and the illuminati.

These organisations have existed throughout history not because they were a good idea but simply because the technology that they were using the social networks that they established worked. In more recent history we’ve had these concepts presented to us in the book “the secret”.

So if that’s the case let’s continue …

See How to Contemplate Part II